News for Youse: BCTF set to strike, robocall reports ramp up, and technology trumps freedom of speech

Strike, strike, strike! That's right, the B.C. Teachers' Federation is going on a three-day strike starting Monday (March 5). Now, it's been years since News for Youse has sat inside a classroom (well, for educational purposes, at least), and we can't claim to understand the inner politics of the teaching profession. However, as former students of history and appreciaters of general mayhem and disorder, it fills our little, bitter, blackened hearts with glee whenever any group goes on strike.

An estimated 12,000 B.C. students will walk out of class on Friday (March 2) in protest as well, culminating with a rally at the Vancouver Art Gallery for those students who are actually walking out in protest over classroom conditions instead of just skipping out early on a Friday to go smoke pot and play video games.

See, teachers? The children of B.C. need you. Otherwise they're all going to turn into riot-happy juvenile delinquents whose only redeemable skill is how to create a bong out of an apple.

Speaking of complete drains on society, this robocall thing—which Stephen Harper is dismissing as merely a "smear campaign"—is becoming even more ridiculous. More and more tales of election impropriety are coming to light in Ontario, with voters reporting a variety of robocalls, everything from the announcement of a potential provincial gun registry to calls in Liberal-held ridings insinuating that the government was going to make access to abortion easier.

Wait, those were examples of bad things? Honestly, both those things don't really sound that bad to us. Of course, you must remember that we hail from the leftist of coasts, and our only redeemable skill is to turn fruits into devices through which we smoke our drugs.

(Out of curiosity, were you or someone you know contacted by a robocall during the last election (or during any election? Email webeditor@straight.com and tell us your story. Stories must be true and first-hand.)

So, Japanese researchers have developed a speech-jamming gun, aka the best way to literally stop freedom of speech. It prevents people from speaking (as long as they are at least 100 feet away) by setting up a feedback loop for whoever is talking. Politicians must be wetting their pants with excitement. No more having to put up with hecklers! And Harper won't have to hear the low rumbling of boos that greet him wherever he goes!

The important question, however, is: will it stop people from blowing on those damn vuvuzelas? The second-most important question: is that vuvuzela reference too dated to use anymore? Inquiring minds want to know.

For more hard-hitting vuvuzela humour, follow Miranda Nelson on Twitter.