Fed Up And Ready To Move On

posted January 28th, 2015 at 1:00 AM

I try so hard to be supportive of my alcoholic father, but after 17 years of promises and relapses I've had enough. He comes in and out of our (me and my autistic brother's) lives and expects everything to be catered to him. "It's our faults he's the way he is". "We owe him". "My mother owes him for kicking him out because he drank around her newborn children and abused her". He is a stubborn asshole who takes no responsibility of his actions and expects the world to revolve around him. My mother has been the most incredible person keeping our childhood full of the good memories with him and never EVER putting him in a bad light. But I've come to form the opinion that you are indeed a total LOSER and I am ashamed to have you as a father. I finally had the respect for myself to finally tell you to fuck right off and never contact me again. And it feels really freaking good.

6 Comments

JGTO

Jan 28, 2015 at 8:20am

Hey it's hard to do what you are doing. I come from a family where alcoholism was present. My only suggestion for you would be to seriously look at Alanon as a place that you can talk to others who have been through similar situations. While I appreciate your anger ultimately its self defeating. Your Dad has a brutal disease and it's obviously consuming him but it doesn't have to do the same to you or your family. The damage he has clearly done to you needs to be healed. I speak from experience as a recovering alcoholic (16 years sober) and the husband of one as well.

J.M.T.

Jan 28, 2015 at 9:14am

At the root of any addiction problem, is someone who is completely 'self involved'. A person doesn't abuse alcohol because they feel pain for their neighbour. They abuse alcohol because they can't stop thinking about themselves. Addiction is all about 'me'. I say fuck your drunken father, and don't come back.

Turtle

Jan 28, 2015 at 10:10am

it is very wrong to thing that the reason for addiction is selfishness, most common reason for addiction is a mental illness. unfortunately like with any mental illness you cannot help someone until they want the accept the help. op, from what i am reading here, your dad may have an antisocial personality disorder. learning about it may make your life easier, may help you understand why he does what he does, and go from there. we can't choose our parents, unfortunately, just as we cannot be unborn, but having a father like that does not have to define you. i wish you strength and courage. you have an amazing mother :)

YEAH!

Jan 28, 2015 at 10:18am

I agree with J.M.T.
I also have a Dad that I have disowned. He is a dirtbag who moved to Vietnam so he could bone young girls. He verbally abused me whole life. Who needs to deal with that.

Brain Development & Addiction with Gabor Mate

Jan 31, 2015 at 6:59am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLki68uLfjw this might help you understand. there is a lot of support for you

Immature

Feb 1, 2015 at 12:51pm

don't be like your dad and be a jerk. Your good feeling will probably not last if you are a decent person. You have one family and try to make a best of it. All the cheerleader who are giving you thumbs up will not attend your funeral. By experiencing and dealing with your imperfect family and striving to take the high road in what situation you may find yourself, hopefully you will be a human being who understand and have empathy for other which in my book make people like you top half of human species.