I love this.
"I'll be with you, but only depending on your status and circumstance.
If that status or circumstance changes or I don't like it anymore, I'll dump you. Because otherwise, it's all about me, first, last and always."
Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY cynical, and on bad days, I can even be shitty. But this way of dealing with people is too shitty and cynical for me.
This is not what the word "friend" means to me. If I can't trust someone to be a friend, I absolutely don't want them as a romantic partner. Ever.
Loyalty and integrity used to be a thing, but now we have Tinder and people are replaceable. Win?

Not throwing away the man... just trying to let go of him and the idea of a romance with him enough to give him space to sort his drama without becoming a part of it. I think the tinder-ites would refer to this as friend-zoning. I see it as backing up for safety and giving us both some time to develop a friendship that does have integrity.

Who wants to get deep into a new love when they are ending another? Who wants to watch their old partner fall in love with someone new while they struggle with mental illness? Who feels solid about falling in love with someone who really needs to sort their life out... the answer is no one that respects themselves or others.

Giving everyone some breathing room to cool down in feels like the only right thing to do, even if I know there's a real probability of this amazing person getting snapped up when he is ready for a healthy relationship. Life is hard when you feel compelled to figure out how to do the right thing by the people you care about, including yourself.

Wait - away from him - for him to be truly free -- he sounds like he could be a game player.

To being killed with fear and hope. Which is a pretty good moniker for life. Fighting perceived perceptions is exhausting. Assumptions wether deserved or not are still assumptions. Ready to build? You have no idea how long but I've been churning over some ideas for a while about how to use my particular brand of experience. Turns out I found the missing piece...still in the mind crush stage, but a whole new set of resources just opened up last weekend and me thinks this steam engine will be rocketing down the tracks soon enough once we get the fire stoked. What are you bringing to the table? I'd rather find myself with you but I can see that's a big leap of faith. I've been making them for a while now...blindly I might add. We can't let yesterday hinder today or tomorrow. All I can say is...we'll figure it out. What if it was great and honest and sincere and real? Maybe it works, maybe not...it takes work. You might know me better than you think. But hey man...if you want to walk away...
Silence is the best approach. Best. Interpretation. Ever.

Or, well, I know someone in your situation. So I hope this is you.

1) You aren't being as discrete as you think you are.
2) He's a lot older than you, right? Maybe, like, 25 years? And was in a position of authority, but won't be after this week?
3) Starting with both these factors, and the very visible messy life - stay away.

If you're not that girl, I'd still avoid it. Or be realistic. People need to heal.

It's SO common for a person who is just ending a relationship to tell the new person how messed up their partner is / was. Like you said, there's always two sides, so listening to your instincts is an excellent idea.

What I see here is a dude trying to detach (on terms he can live with) from a problematic, long-term relationship. That person can REALLY use friends and support. Especially a guy, because they rarely have that and are often too inhibited to admit the need.
I've done this for others (women and men). No judgement is required and you don't have to take sides. Just be there for someone who's dealing with a difficult circumstance. It's kind, and rare (obviously, from the comments you see here).
Someone has been there for me in a similar situation. It's platonic, but I would move mountains to help this friend - I owe her SO much.

A partnership of 10+ years is always entangling, even knotty. From personal experience, I can say that every moment of that long goodbye is enormously frustrating. The partner trying to leave would love nothing more than to be done NOW, every minute of every day.
But it's a really bad choice to cut the Gordian knot and abandon the loose ends, because lawyers.
I love when people oversimplify things in binary terms. It's how the US got Trump. This shit sells. But it's bullshit.
Real life is messy. Grownups deal with that and make the best of it. Children run away.

By the way, @ithink, the word is "discreet", not "discrete".

The most beautiful thing ever to me!

But run...far...
1. He's putting down CURRENT partner a lot..
2. Slowly separating??
3. I call bullshit - sounds a little sneaky
4. You already know what you need to do.