A co-worker told me horrible news before the weekend. There was an accident where her sister works and scalding hot cooking oil was spilled all over her, sending her to the hospital with 3rd degree burns. She gave me an elaborate story about how her sister was a supervisor at A&W when a car crashed into the drive-through spilling the oil on her. She said it happened on April 3rd. My co-worker was finishing her shift and was leaving so I wasn't able to give her much in the way of condolences before she was gone for the day. I decided to see if this horrible occurrence made the news, I checked the internet for stories about cars crashing into a drive-through at an A&W and saw the incident did happen in North Van, on March 16th. I thought it was a bit odd she would get the date of such a traumatic event that wrong. After the weekend, when I saw her again, I asked how her sister was doing. she gave me this blank stare and told me "she's at work". I mentioned the news she gave me on Friday and she laughed and said, "Oh, that was my sister's niece". I told her, on Friday, she specifically said it was her sister. She reiterated with "no, it was my sister's niece". Then she went on with her job. To lie about something like that is odd to be sure, but this woman is a very strict evangelical christian, she goes to church three days a week and got on my case once when I admitted that I like to have a glass of wine at the end of the day to wind down. Lots of tut-tutting about the evils of alcohol. Surly using someone's tragedy for attention would be frowned on at her church? I don't trust my co-worker anymore, I don't even know if the person involved is actually her sister's niece either. I didn't push the issue. I'm an atheist, I have heard her talk about the fates in store for non-believers in the afterlife. I guess her sins will be forgiven and mine won't be? This sort of thing just cements by belief.

You calling the bus driver a fucking wanker because YOU don't have the fare to pay? There were so many different ways you could have approached the situation, instead of barging onboard like a spoiled brat, one of them being just asking him to ride for free this time. But YOU decided to do it the asshole way. It's apparent to me from your attitude that you take this path all the time. And for the record, telling someone to go back to their country is fucking racist. The driver wasn't the fucking wanker here. YOU are. I confess I should have reported your stupid ass to the transit police.

I used to think that every memory I had about my childhood was “the truth”. For a long time after I reached adulthood I believed that my perception told the story of my family. It did, but the story it told was only my own. It took me a long time to understand how perception is completely different for each person so no two people in any family will remember things the same way. As a parent myself hearing some of the things my own kids believe happened in their childhood, I also realize that children can’t possibly know what’s really going on with their parents, and that helped me see my own parents in a different light. I was just a child so I only remembered my child’s view of life, which was obviously missing so much context that would explain a lot. So now I see my parents more as the complex human beings that they were rather than just the people who created me and provided my reality as a kid. It’s helped me forgive them for the mistakes they made, and it’s replaced some of the anger and resentment I carried with humility as I accept my own humanity too.

Years after online movements, and a bazillion posters on my post secondary referring to positive spaces and feminism have done jack shit. Even white knighting/faux feminists have learned it takes less effort to pretend you're a progressive male than actually being one.

You spend the whole relationship you have with someone making sure that they always know how replaceable they are. You take extra pains to let them know that they’re not special, and you criticize them constantly. You refuse to make a commitment of any kind. So eventually they just give up and accept that it’s never going to be what they want and need, and they leave you. If you’re genuinely surprised by their decision, I think you need to wake the hell up.

The most prevalent theme for me this past year: Love or Death. But death seems to be winning out for it's realistic and appealing quality. I don't see it as negative. The prospect of finding, acquiring, keeping, and nurturing love not just for another person but also myself? Daunting. 0+

It seems to me that the people who are so ready to tell someone that they need to get over it or forget about it, are often the ones who caused the problem in the first place. Or they benefited from a situation where the other person was harmed. I understand that anger can be destructive, but without it things rarely change. When someone is raised in a society where only certain people are socially allowed to be angry, and if they’re told they’re crazy for fighting against discrimination or subjugation, it’s pretty normal for them to have a lot of resentment. Until a person can truly acknowledge the privilege they’ve been granted purely by their physical manifestation, I don’t think they have the right to tell someone who hasn’t had that privilege not to be angry and to just get over it.

I ran away from home when I was ten. I stayed away for a day and a half. My folks were plenty worried. I had unpleasant and frightening experiences which, in today's world, would have had very serious consequences, death being not an unlikely one of them. When I went home, because I could not imagine a way that staying away could work for me, at that time, my folks treated me well for a while, but then it was back to the way it was. The next time I ran away, years later, I had a better plan, and I never went home again.

I can only speak through my own experiences, however I’d like to offer some advice to those out there who have children with Autism. Don’t force your children to want friends. If they want friends, put them in a situation where they’ll be able to find some. Once they feel comfortable, then they’ll gradually learn the ropes on their own. If your kids don’t like something, there’s a good chance they never will, especially if you keep pushing it upon them. Leave them to find their own interests and they’ll be happier about themselves.

Full disclosure, I’ve been guilty of doing this myself before I saw the error of my ways. But when it happens now I see the motive behind it so clearly. When you don’t know all the circumstances of someone else’s life or especially, their medical situation, you’re not in any position to judge what they can or cannot do. Telling me about someone else that you think has the same medical condition as I do but is capable of doing “so much more” is just cruel. If you think it’s going to inspire the person you’re speaking to, think again. It’s not. It’s going to make them even more convinced that you have no idea of what they’re dealing with. No two people are alike. Especially when it comes to medical situations. Unless they have exactly the same physiological makeup and medical history, they are NOT the same. Even if they have the same diagnosis, they don’t share the same body! Please stop doing this to people, even if you think you’re being helpful or especially if you’re trying to do the “tough love” approach. What people who are trying to cope with difficult medical issues need the most is compassion and empathy, not judgment and condescension. Take your own ego out of the equation and stop assuming that you have all the answers.