i thought this was what i wanted, but turns out i’m not cut out for this new job. somehow i landed this job but i never felt more alone, and anxious in my life. i feel so ashamed that i can’t stay at a job for very long, i’m not sure what to do anymore. just thought i’d throw this out there, might make me feel better i’m not sure. i hate being labeled a quitter, i just want it to end. think i might be sick.

Last night was the first time in over 7 months that the man I’ve been seeing didn’t text me goodnight and had his phone off all night. He texted me early this morning that he was sorry and had passed out. We then met up for breakfast and he had a hickey on his neck. It was very faint but we all know what hickeys look like and I was sure of it. I didn’t ask him about it but it’s weighing on my mind heavily today. We have not talked about being exclusive but I told him months ago that I don’t want to and am not going to see other people. He didn’t respond. That hurt in the moment but he made it clear in the beginning that he needed space and doesn’t want a relationship. However, he spends a lot of time with me (an amount of time you’d consider the person to your boyfriend) so I assumed he felt the same way but wasn’t ready to say it out loud. I’m a little heartbroken but will probably let it go because I have fallen in love with him. Unrequited love is the worst feeling in the world.

I got super vivid dreams after my 2nd dose of Pfizer. Google suggests maybe others had this too. Anyway, I enjoyed the kiss Dream Person! Hope you felt it too!

That's mostly what I want to talk about, and ways to change how we live. I realize now... Everyone is avoiding me.

I'm not happy about the aging process. Aches and pains, reduced energies etc. We were part of the protest generation so I'm starting a petition to protest getting old. Only thing is i can't figure out were to file the petition. Anyone got an idea?

After a hellish isolated 2020, I had put my hopes in the “back to normal” post-vaccinated society. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I feel a general malaise. I’ve been seeing friends that I haven’t seen since February 2020. About 1/4 of them are just like how I remember them. The other 3/4 of them have a pall about them; even though they are all employed with roofs over their heads, they have suffered emotionally and mentally and they are not in a good frame of mind. Every environmental stress I read about (wildfire, crop failure, farmers selling off cattle they can’t afford to water and feed, poor air advisory) I feel bleak. And COVID has not dissipated; I don’t feel much more safe than I did a year ago. Some friends reject the vaccine and I find their decision bewildering. Suffice to say, my fantasy of a happy summer has not materialized and I feel mentally checked out. I almost feel like the world is still very much upside down and seeing my friends so sad, towns burning up and COVID rates increasing again, I’m in this weird headspace of being unresponsive to everyone that tries to contact me. I guess it’s the freeze response (vs. the fight response).

I can't cope any more with my partner's recurring habit of drinking an excessive amount of alcohol and then telling me what he REALLY thinks of me. He will call people, text, e-mail -- accuse them of things from 20 years ago, hurt feelings, betray confidences. He passes out on the floor in the kitchen usually. In the morning, he claims he can't remember anything. I can't keep going like this. I can't cope with it any more.

I went on a date with this guy I met online. He seemed nice enough but after a couple dates he starts saying some weird stuff. Talking about pill colours? Saying how “based” he is. I have no idea what he is talking about! What does “based” even mean? Like basting a Turkey?

There's been times in a relationship where I felt more alone that when by myself.

Should I cut off un vaccinated friends?? Maybe I should.