I need to accept you like me, you get in touch when you need to vent. But you don't love me. I think you reserve love for you. You're a narcissist disguised as an awkward introvert. Despite the fact that I'm desperately lonely, I need to let go.

It’s not supposed to be easy to change. There’s a panic that says, ‘it can’t be done, give up, run, hide, play dead, die’. I need to know what’s on the other side if I push through but I resist envisioning it. I have to fail. Maybe badly. I hate this already. Here we go.

All the raggedy underwear with holes gets used when I work from home. No $1300+ bus pass a year, -$100 in underwear & socks, -$1000 making lunches at home... but I still can't buy a house ever. Can't wait to get out of Vancouver.

It seems like the left politics and culture from our universities are turning us all against each other and making everyone miserable, while avoiding the major issues that unite us all. We're all being thrown into poverty by the neoliberal world, which is championed by the universities. When people try to say something, they use left-wing cancel culture tactics. Gross times.

I have the ability to balance important things in my life. I typically virtue signal all day while the world burns. It sure makes me popular with my friends!

Being an Irish immigrant who has lived in London before making Vancouver my home. I have never been a fan of the British establishment. If anyone has any insight in to the Irish history to present, you'd understand why. You'd also understand why I find the humour at the release of a certain book. I really hope SNL do a skit with all of the main characters and invite Jerry Springer as the talk show host (Front seats please!). From the excerpts that were released online, It makes what they represent as I've always believed, a total joke. I think the Canadian public would agree, that we've got better things to spend our tax payers money on, than these individuals.

This year I’m going to drink all the tea I’ve been hoarding.

-And now as a single almost 35 year old I hate myself every day thinking back to my young nieve self. Why couldn't I have found love and success when I was 25? Why didn't it take me until 29 to realize how doomed I was?

I remember being a young woman at UBC who recoiled whenever a young man showed enthusiasm for getting to know me. This was because (1) I was raised in a culture that taught me enthusiasm/excitement = mental illness and (2) I was told for all of my young life that people were only nice to me because everybody makes a good superficial impression, and that criticism and abuse were "authentic" because it was what "the real me" deserved as a "mentally underaged" person. I was told that I was "useless except for an ability to read books and take tests" and that I "did not know how to function in society". No wonder I fell prey to predators who abused my need to be validated. I'm sorry, guys. You didn't do anything wrong. I hope that life didn't jade you as you got older. Come to think of it, maybe the guys who recoiled when I approached them in good faith were probably struggling with self-worth, too.

My ex and I have had this bizarre connection from the day we met. Like we would say exactly the same thing at the same time, finish each other’s sentences, know what the other one was thinking, etc. It was literally like sharing a brain, and as a result it was an intoxicating feeling at times that made it easier to ignore the bad stuff. So when people ask me now why I still miss them even after all the really bad things that happened that broke my heart, I try to explain that part. I’ve never felt so connected to anyone else in my life, and being away from them, even though I know it’s the right thing, is very difficult. To this day we still share that bizarre connection even though we’re rarely in touch, and sometimes that makes me really sad and that’s when the old “if only” thoughts creep in. But the reality is that I’m not going back to old patterns anymore because I’ve made a promise not to, so “if only” will just have to remain in my heart because my head is finally in charge.