Ginsberg’s Inkling

The Halfpenny Marvel (Pretentious Music)

Brainy white boy hip-hop from Calgary (!). Nothing about steers, queers, or beers, but lots to ponder in mainman John Creary’s idea-fuelled lyrics and postgrad production.

> SC

The Panic Channel

(ONe) (Capitol/EMI)

It’s a good thing that Dave Navarro has that other band from Rock Star: Supernova to fall back on, as the Panic Channel specializes in formulaic, overproduced, unnecessary hard-rock drivel. Say what? He was just the host of that reality-TV show, not the guitarist in the so-called supergroup? Uh-oh. The guy’s fucked. Where’s he gonna get his mascara money now?

> SN

Ricky Martin

Ricky Martin Unplugged (Sony)

If only they’d unplugged his microphone.

> Mike Usinger

Bad Astronaut

Twelve Small Steps, One Giant Disappointment (Fat Wreck)

This is the side project of Joey Cape, who is also in Lagwagon and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Bad Astronaut would be entirely worthless if it didn’t inadvertently make a strong case for a three-strikes-you’re-out policy for mall-punk retards.

> AM

Eva Avila

Somewhere Else (Sony BMG)

The latest Canadian Idol winner has an impressive voice, but her handlers should give the 19-year-old Quebecker some decent songs to use it on.

> JL

Army of Anyone

Army of Anyone (EMI)

You almost have to admire a modern-rock band brazen enough to announce how generic its music is with its name. Almost, but not quite. True to its creators’ moniker, this disc does indeed sound like it could have been made by anyone. I’m sure they’re really nice guys, though.

> SC

Joe Satriani

Satriani Live! (Sony/BMG)

Satriani Live!, two of the most beloved words in instrumental guitar-rock. Too bad they got the title of the opening track wrong. That ain’t the “Flying in a Blue Dream” I know.