I made the mistake of falling head over heals for three amazing women in rapid succession. With each of them, it felt great at first, but soon fizzled out (due to my shyness and fear of making a move), and I also felt after a while that I was being led on in some stupid game so that she could keep me around for attention, all the while going around with her old boyfriends and others. Now I have this cynicism, and I now don't get that giddy feeling of falling for someone. I just look at the potential outcome as pessimistic. At first, I really liked not being able to fall in love. I felt as though I was protected from the pain. And I really felt pain. But now, I realize that I have become cold and heartless. I hope there is some amazing person out there who can make me feel that way again, and I hope I find them soon.