I don't care what you think

posted June 28th, 2016 at 3:01 PM

I grew up financially privileged, went to private school and university. Everyone I grew up with came from a similar background, but I ventured off and made my own friends after high school and tried to carve my own path. This has been much to the disapproval of some family and family friends. All their kids married doctors, lawyers, real estate investors, etc. and I've always felt judged for not following that same path. I'm close with my family but it is frustrating to feel like my partner is being judged by them and their social group. For work, my partner is a labourer, and at times, when he's asked what he does for a living, they respond by putting on a polite face when the disapproval is very apparent. I used to care, and I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't bother me at all anymore. But I am happy with our relationship and we are very satisfied when we are in our own company. He may not drive a luxury car or own property, but he's so good to me and I feel lucky to have him. It really is too bad that many people can be so harsh as to judge someone based on what they do for a living, rather than valuing good character and showing potential for being an excellent dad in the future? Maybe I'm stuck in my own little fantasy world, but I really don't believe that I'm the one who has my head screwed on backwards.

6 Comments

Ditch the superficial flakes and fakes

Jun 28, 2016 at 9:52pm

I think those people who your partner has graciously put up with do not deserve you.

CuriousGeorge

Jun 29, 2016 at 12:36am

This is Vancouver - snotty judgey central. It's all about money & status here, good character means nothing.

Opposite

Jun 29, 2016 at 2:26am

I come from a completely different background from yours. I grew up poor, none of my parents went to college. In fact, many poor kids who grew up in my neighbourhood did drugs and got pregnant instead of going to university. I was lucky that my parents valued education, and I worked hard to attend grad school. What I know for sure is that I want a partner who is also career-oriented and works in an intellectual or creative area. I'm not looking down on people who are labourers or have blue collar jobs (a lot of my family and friends do), and it's not because of money either. I just want a partner that I can connect with on an intellectual level, someone I can talk to about work and career aspirations. (On the other hand, it's also difficult to find someone who is highly educated, and yet can understand the kind of background that I come from.) We all look for different things in a partner, and someone with a great career doesn't necessarily make a good partner. You seem to have found what you are looking for, OP. Don't let other people's negative judgment stop you from living your life and being happy.

northislandgal

Jun 29, 2016 at 7:26am

If your family cares more about success than your happiness then i say back off and be happy have kids if you want life is too short to live a life you dont want!

WOW

Jun 30, 2016 at 11:16pm

You may be the only woman in BC that actually loves her man for him and not what he owns.

STUNNED

I wish I had met a woman like you when I was 30

This is the last page on the internet. I'm......... so........ done.

Dark

Jul 1, 2016 at 5:01pm

You don't have your head screwed on backwards......you're sunny side up- Congratulations! You didn't marry into rentboy/ rentgirl / wetboy killing social/ professional circles.

Well done! If you don't understand my references; that is all to the good- better that than what I usually deal with.