This is why one can take life forgranted for ones family and please forgive yourself because you really truly don't Know until it happens like this and I feel for you and hope that you find something to anchor you to life - and to talk it out with someone - I cannot stress how Important this is - and you didn't play it like a joke because it's not real until it happens.

Google "Phaedo" to learn how Plato would say you are acquiring wisdom and becoming a true philosopher.

The afterlife is a theory.
It may exist and hopefully, yeah, you'll see your loved ones again.
In the meantime though, you know that this world is real. One of the ways, unfortunately, is that it hurts. It sucks. Pain is bad. It's supposed to be bad, because if you didn't miss them when they go, then how close were you?

The thing is, the way you honour them ultimately is to take the best things of what they gave you, and try to move them on to others. That's how they live in this world, forever.

Have some hope. It's good and it's what they would want for you.

All the best

Life is a gift. I hope you find the beauty in each breath. We do have this one life…and it is truly something that we can find joy, love, pain and sorrow. The pain when others have moved on does not go away…and we have no way of truly knowing what that journey is…so find ways to make this life that you are living count….whether it is handing out food to the homeless or volunteering at a library to read with kids…or enrolling in an art class for the heck of it! =)

I agree, but you are seriously fooling yourself if you think that you will be with them when you are dead.

i can't imagine the pain and feeling of helplessness you are feeling. That sucks. I have these kinds of days. Good for you to stay in life. You are amazingly beautiful and a warrior of life. Remember to take care of yourself and talk to others. I tend to talk to strangers too, when i feel real bad and when they ask 'how are you?', i honestly tell them what is going on and then thank them for asking how i am and tell them that i will be fine, so that they don't feel bad or burdened. Even if they don't understand, i feel good that i can talk to someone about it. Health professionals are nice to talk to, and so is talking to close friends who don't judge, and other colleagues at work who are understanding of your pain. Sending infinite unconditional love and warm and cozy healing thoughts and prayers and wishes and hugs for you. You will be fine: God/Divinity comes to help us in our darkest/painful days thru interactions we experience with others on days that are difficult: (I am witness to my own dark/painful experiences and the 'Interventions thru others'; there are numerous books on this topic of 'Divine Intervention'; perhaps Googling info on this kind of help may help relieve your sorrow and pain) a person of significance, of love and cherish-ment for you will come into your life soon, you will see; our life path can be difficult at times, but when we need help, we can ask in our thoughts or out loud (self-talk) and then humbly accepting the help from Above: it works, feel free to ask your Guardian Angels/God/Divinity; I am living proof of this kind of 'intervention' :)

I have learned that you never, ever get over the death of a close one, you just learn to deal with it. Yes, it certainly changes your perception of what is real and that is the good side. You end up not taking anything for granted but the pain is what's so devastating. That is understood and appreciated. It took me at least two years to have the cloud lifted so that I didn't feel so down, blue and morose and just bloody every day sad. Again, time doesn't heal all wounds, you just learn how to live with it. Hang in there. Peace.

My grandparents are long gone, an aunt and uncle (sister & brother) died within the last 6 years, no siblings, and my mom is almost 80 and my dad is in his 80s and they're having the health issues of seniors. It feels like they became old way too suddenly and I don't know how many years (hopefully) I have left with them, but I'm focusing on enjoying them while they're still here.
Make the most of what time you have left with your family
and if you are lacking friends, make some new ones as you will really need them eventually.