I'd love to get to know you but if you only knew..

posted July 19th, 2017 at 10:43 AM

I go to a gym downtown relatively frequently despite living rather far away in a different municipality. When I have the time, I drive, park, and ride the sky train to get there. I do this because i like the facility and also because I enjoy being in that area. For whatever reason, I catch the eye of some of the women who I see at the gym. I long to ask one of them out but always remind myself that I'm sure that if they knew I had a catheter sticking out of my chest for the purposes of dialysis, they would likely lose interest. That, coupled with the fact that I don't live downtown pretty much solidify my sad resolve to keep any interaction limited to smiles and simple platitudes.

7 Comments

Wow

Jul 19, 2017 at 6:27pm

That's pretty self defeating. You've already made your mind up before you've even tried. I live downtown and I would date a guy who lives in an outlying area. And yes, I'd date a guy on dialysis too.

Give it a shot.

Not sure

Jul 19, 2017 at 6:44pm

what does not living downtown have anything to do with that? You're just shooting yourself in the foot. Many people have all sorts of medical conditions, many of which are 'invisible' illnesses. It doesn't keep them from falling in love or dating. How about getting to know people without thinking too far ahead? Maybe it could lead to friendship or relationship or nothing at all. Who knows. Everyone is different: some people mind, some don't. If they do, then they're just not the right person for you. Good luck.

Uh Huh

Jul 19, 2017 at 8:31pm

"I do this because i like the facility and also because I enjoy being in that area."
See that? The OP wants to feel like a Vancouverite so bad he schleps all the way there from a far off municipality all the time just to use a gym. Everybody wants to be near the "in" crowd.
The OP commutes to Vancouver so that he can feel, even for a brief moment, that those beautiful, unapproachable Vancouver women might think that he lives in a Yaletown apartment and consider him desirable.
And this is part of why Vancouver will always be a magnet of a city with unaffordable real estate. All the cool, hip, pretty people go there to be around other cool,hip, pretty people. They don't move to New West/Surrey.
Nobody who can help it will ever move to the 'burbs.

(

Jul 19, 2017 at 11:40pm

I doubt she'll care about either of those things

Dude is correct

Jul 20, 2017 at 9:18pm

Best just to be polite and leave it be. I'm kinda similar but not as much as a catheter.Done it too many times trying,before I quit- meet her,talk,all friendly,maybe coffee- tell them,and it's "OK cool" and then get ghosted.

it's a set up

Jul 22, 2017 at 9:52am

if you worked out near home, you in theory would have more chance of meeting someone. you set yourself up so you reduce the chances by 'commuting' a distance to work out. consciously or unconsciously this is what you've done. get with a dialysis support group if there is such a thing. good on you for getting out there and working out!

@Uh Huh

Jul 24, 2017 at 9:19am

Nailed it. And further yet, he is clearly only interested in those seemingly perfect expensive Yaletown stereotype women, yet he complains about *their* shallowness.

OP: I'm sorry if this is news, but if physical superficiality is the lens you see the world through, it's what other people will look at you through too.