Confessions

POST A CONFESSION

Misogyny is gross

Years after online movements, and a bazillion posters on my post secondary referring to positive spaces and feminism have done jack shit. Even white knighting/faux feminists have learned it takes less effort to pretend you're a progressive male than actually being one.

Why surprised ?

You spend the whole relationship you have with someone making sure that they always know how replaceable they are. You take extra pains to let them know that they’re not special, and you criticize them constantly. You refuse to make a commitment of any kind. So eventually they just give up and accept that it’s never going to be what they want and need, and they leave you. If you’re genuinely surprised by their decision, I think you need to wake the hell up.

Signed zero

The most prevalent theme for me this past year: Love or Death. But death seems to be winning out for it's realistic and appealing quality. I don't see it as negative. The prospect of finding, acquiring, keeping, and nurturing love not just for another person but also myself? Daunting. 0+

One of my guiltiest pleasures…

Watching old reruns of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I couldn’t decide whether I liked the red ranger or the green ranger. They were both some of the coolest superheroes I grew up with. Zoran was this year big weird assed giant floating head. The series could be so hokey yet so funny I loved it.

Weirded out

This is making me really uncomfortable…my former spouse and I had a fairly amicable divorce, and both of us moved on with new partners. We share children and as a result we occasionally find ourselves in the same place during special celebrations for birthdays, etc. The thing is that I’ve caught them staring at me several times, almost oblivious to the fact that their new partner is right there and it’s in full view of everyone else. It’s almost like they don’t know they’re doing it or something, and they’ll stare for an extended period of time, like much longer than just a glance. There’s no real expression on their face, just this intense stare. It’s weird because we’ve been apart for about 10 years already and when we split up it was a mutual agreement. I feel like if I say something they’ll just deny it or I’ll be accused of imagining it (a lot of that behaviour during our marriage), but I know what I’ve seen and it’s really weirding me out. My own partner hasn’t mentioned anything so I don’t know if they just haven’t noticed, and I’m not going to say anything about it to them because I don’t want to start anything. I just don’t understand why they’re doing it.

Lessons from detox

I keep hearing from politicians that there are no simple answers for the drug crisis. There is actually. It is actually something recovering addicts like myself have to face at the beginning of ones rehabilitation journey. Admitting "I" was wrong. "I" f*cked up. Until an advocate, expert, politician, policy maker or anyone takes any accountability for tripling our deaths since we bent the curve in 2019 it won't get better. 7500 deaths in 3 years and zero people are accountable for anything and zero people have come out said "I was wrong." Recovering addicts say it. People helping us never do.

Untold stories

I keep hearing of more and more situations where people are staying in abusive relationships because they can’t afford to move. When finding a place to live is so hard, they’re choosing to stay in physically or mentally abusive situations and the fallout from that is affecting everything around them. Children in those families act out, addiction becomes a problem as people self medicate, crime happens as inner rage bubbles over, etc. When people are desperately unhappy it’s like a ripple effect that radiates to everyone and everything they’re involved with. It feels like we as a society are heading for a massive collapse where all hell is going to break loose.

Do not compare yourself (or me) to others

Full disclosure, I’ve been guilty of doing this myself before I saw the error of my ways. But when it happens now I see the motive behind it so clearly. When you don’t know all the circumstances of someone else’s life or especially, their medical situation, you’re not in any position to judge what they can or cannot do. Telling me about someone else that you think has the same medical condition as I do but is capable of doing “so much more” is just cruel. If you think it’s going to inspire the person you’re speaking to, think again. It’s not. It’s going to make them even more convinced that you have no idea of what they’re dealing with. No two people are alike. Especially when it comes to medical situations. Unless they have exactly the same physiological makeup and medical history, they are NOT the same. Even if they have the same diagnosis, they don’t share the same body! Please stop doing this to people, even if you think you’re being helpful or especially if you’re trying to do the “tough love” approach. What people who are trying to cope with difficult medical issues need the most is compassion and empathy, not judgment and condescension. Take your own ego out of the equation and stop assuming that you have all the answers.

Dear parents

I can only speak through my own experiences, however I’d like to offer some advice to those out there who have children with Autism. Don’t force your children to want friends. If they want friends, put them in a situation where they’ll be able to find some. Once they feel comfortable, then they’ll gradually learn the ropes on their own. If your kids don’t like something, there’s a good chance they never will, especially if you keep pushing it upon them. Leave them to find their own interests and they’ll be happier about themselves.

“Get over it”

It seems to me that the people who are so ready to tell someone that they need to get over it or forget about it, are often the ones who caused the problem in the first place. Or they benefited from a situation where the other person was harmed. I understand that anger can be destructive, but without it things rarely change. When someone is raised in a society where only certain people are socially allowed to be angry, and if they’re told they’re crazy for fighting against discrimination or subjugation, it’s pretty normal for them to have a lot of resentment. Until a person can truly acknowledge the privilege they’ve been granted purely by their physical manifestation, I don’t think they have the right to tell someone who hasn’t had that privilege not to be angry and to just get over it.

I SAW YOU

Your client was crying, but you were smiling.

You were consoling a client, a younger woman who was crying. My guess is that you are her...