Freestyle Fridays

At Blox on Fridays

Last Friday, Richmond's Blox could have been mistaken for a reject reunion of Puff Daddy's Making the Band. With things not picking up until midnight, the club was painfully empty prior. Although you would have mowed down the three busted Britney clones, you could have landed a small plane on the dance floor.

After midnight, however, eager club goers and wannabe rappers poured in, anticipating the weekly booty-shaking contest and emcee battle. Resident DJ Phat Flo welcomed them, spinning a variety of Top 40 hip-hop tracks, from older joints like Nivea's "Don't Mess With My Man" and DMX's "Party Up (Up in Here)" to newer obligatory club cuts like Kelis's "Milkshake" and J-Kwon's "Tipsy".

Although the music effectively moved the crowd, the club's "special effects" weren't quite as impressive. The cheesy rainbow laser lights appeared to have been purchased from Spencer's for $29.95, and every time the lone fog machine worked its magic, it let out the saddest wheeze, as if to cry, "Please kill me."

With fedoras, miniskirts, and attitudes aplenty, the girls (of whom there was a 3:2 ratio) stole the spotlight during the booty-shaking contest hosted by MC Big Los. After an onslaught of uproarious cheers and boos, one rump-rocking contestant shimmied off with a free bar tab. By that time, patrons were adequately shit-faced, which became apparent with one look at the dance floor. Skirts were hiked up, hands roamed, and new partners grinded so provocatively that even I wanted to go have a smoke.

At 1:20, the emcee battle began. Once again hosted by MC Big Los, the battle consisted of only three participants, one of whom spat a blatantly prewritten verse and was booed accordingly. Additionally, mike levels were off, creating the additional challenge of battling a shitty sound system.

The planned festivities may have come up shorter than the miniskirts on this night, but Blox still has a contagious ambiance. Besides, if you slam enough of those $2.50 beers, some of the girls start to look an awful lot like Britney.