By Walter Brynjolfson

Talk to someone about politics and you'll likely note a tone of frustration in their voice. There's a general sense of world-weary fatigue every time Canadians are called to the polls, and it stems in large part from the pettiness of partisanship.

And how can that not be the case? When we watch a debate or read in the news about political positioning, it feels like we're sitting through a family feud at turkey dinner but without any of the delicious food.

In a lot of ways, both events are similar. Thanksgiving, like the federal elections, is a national ritual that brings diverse people together for a common goal. Both events try to benefit the community as a whole and can be extremely positive experiences when they’re guided by a strong sense of unity. Sadly, however, they also tend to be exercises in missing the point.

As things go awry, the cast of characters is usually familiar. There’s the elder relative who rambles on about conspiracy theories, the other elder relative who drinks too much and arrogantly offers unsolicited advice. Then there’s the sibling who retorts with passive-aggressive jabs and the parent who gets defensive about their cooking. Everyone’s lack of communication and knack for emphasizing differences easily festers into a litany of false assumptions and self-aggrandizing divisions, all of which escalate into an embarrassing battle of egos.

But what if politicians didn’t act like our families at Thanksgiving? Regardless of our political views, we can all agree there are urgent issues that need to be resolved—especially in today’s rapidly shifting geopolitical environment—and all the infighting does not bode well for our country.

One simple example is our justice system, which improves at a glacier’s pace despite the vast number of Canadians unable to access justice. But if any system is slower, it's the political one. Our House of Commons is literally drawn into battle lines, three sword lengths apart, and discussions constantly escalate into yapping confrontations. It's a wonder we manage to get anything done as a country.

Luckily, lawmakers have realized there are better ways to handle disputes and resolve problems, as is evident in some of their newly enacted laws. The new changes to the Divorce Act, for example, strongly encourages families to resolve separation disputes out of court. With this, politicians have shown they recognize the benefits of using nonconfrontational processes to solve problems, but those processes have yet to be seen in our electoral and democratic system.

I, for one, would like to see the principles long used by mediators and other conflict-resolution practitioners brought into our political system. It’s an idealistic notion, and perhaps a long way off, but it is not beyond the realm of possibility. Once we’ve made improvements to our processes, ones that foster communication, understanding, expert opinion, and collaboration; we might see a renewed era of national unity and effective problem-solving.

After all, there’s one important difference between Thanksgiving dinner and elections: when Thanksgiving ends, family members can ignore each other for the rest of the year, but political parties don’t have that luxury. We’re all stuck with each other, day after day.

So, if a healthy family could model basic principles of conflict resolution with each other—like finding common ground, staying curious, using listening skills, and actively trying to understand different perspectives, not to mention possibly even hiring a mediator for their more serious impasses—and if our politicians are enacting laws so others do the same, then maybe it’s not too crazy to imagine a future when politicians have a more collaborative tone in their discussions.