It sounds like you're just terrified of discovering where this could go.

I actually like him too much to keep things casual (but don't like him enough to be in a relationship with him).

What on earth does that even mean!? Sounds like someone's just plain scared

I get it. Great chemistry is hard to find, and I understand how you may not feel like you like him enough to have a relationship with him. But is that a cop out? Have you been hurt before (haven't we all?) and now you are skittish about opening up to someone who you feel this strongly about? Do you not think he feels the same? My ex and I had great chemistry - we were great as friends and great as lovers but in a relationship, things were not so great. I've never understood how those three things couldn't all automatically go together but they don't. And it's a shame. But don't throw away something before you've tried to see whether that third element could be there. Affection grows - just ask anyone who is married outside of North America.

I'm thinking that when you are 95, hooked up to tubes in the home, listening to the machine that breathes for you, and you reflect upon your life (because what else is there to do at that point really), you're not exactly going to be wishing you had FEWER moments of butterflies, strong chemical attractions, and intimacy.

I'm guessing you're going to be wondering how many years it's been since you had even seen half a butterfly, let alone this excess you see fit to exclude in a fit of 'self respect'

Just go with it, see what happens, and stop over analyzing the situation.

I agree with RUK. Butterflies don´t just happen all the time. Go with it. Have fun and enjoy and don´t over analyze.

you don't like about him?

...that he is inconsiderate of my feelings and fairly insensitive (while I am hypersensitive). Again, chemistry and incompatibility. It would have ended in heartbreak for both of us in the end - - better now a couple months in than a year from now. Too bad, because had he stepped up at any point, I would have taken the chance and tried for something deeper. There is something better out there for both of us. Thanks, guys! Your input helped ease the sting of this.

have you discussed with him the fact that he can be inconsiderate or insensitive or do you think he is aware of it and/or willing to make changes? Or were you just waiting for him to step up? It is true that you can not change another person, but sometimes people can work on improving the dynamics of the friendship if
they value it. They say that you teach people how to treat you. Great chemistry can also be a rare find.

What if I was as unsure about the whole situation as you are (I was). I was totally bummed out, but as always respecting the delicate situation that you were in. Why does everything have to be right now, set in stone and clear cut? I admit I was apprehensive because of many reasons. Not getting to see you really blows. How about an alternate universe where we get to enjoy each other's company and we revel in the wonderous mystery as life unfolds?!?! When did you learn how to predict the future? Quit being so hard and let me kiss that body again.

...in that alternative universe because this still hurts here. When people play "he who cares less, wins", everyone loses.