The X-Files: I Want To Believe

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      Starring David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Rated 14A. Now playing

      There was a lot of secrecy surrounding the new X-Files movie. The story line was kept under heavy wraps, and when stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson made the promotional rounds of the TV talk-show circuit, they’d be all coy about the plot, then look embarrassed after showing a lame clip of their respective characters—former FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully—chatting while a longhaired loonie (Billy Connolly) got all psychic on their asses. But the film’s big secret is out now: it sucks.

      It kicks off with an army of FBI agents probing the ground with poles as they march across a snow-covered West Virginia field, following the exhortations of Connolly’s freaky Father Joseph (“It’s here! It’s here!”) until he leads them to a spot where a man’s mutilated arm is revealed. The fast-paced search sequence is intercut with shots of a woman driving along slippery, snow-packed roads only to get home and discover intruders who chase her down, but not before one of them takes a garden tool upside the head.

      Those action-thriller aspects are soon usurped by heavy-handed, soap opera–style drama as Scully—now a deeply devoted medical doctor—is shown caring for a sweet boy who suffers from a life-threatening disease. At about this point, Anderson perfects the look of strained concern that will be her stock-in-trade throughout. It comes in handy when she tracks down the reclusive (i.e., bearded) Mulder in his hovel, amongst all his alien-abduction evidence, to ask if he’ll suspend his self-imposed exile and help find a missing agent. As expected, he grudgingly complies. Next thing you know, the two ex-agents are back roaming the hallways at FBI offices in Washington, D.C., where the fluid camera settles on a portrait of George W. Bush just as the eerie X-Files theme is heard. That’s a portent of subtle comedy to come, but it only manifests through Mulder’s increasingly lame wisecracks.

      Apart from the ever-present snow, Canadian content is provided by Callum Keith Rennie, who shows up with a suspect Russian accent as the plot about abductions and harvested body parts unfolds. But that underwhelming story line doesn’t lift the film above the realm of one of the X-Files’ more talky and uninspired TV episodes. I want to believe this franchise is finished.




      Jul 29, 2008 at 1:00pm

      I think thats really lame that who ever wrote this review is so biased towards the movie claiming that it sucks.. why dont you remember that its supposed to be fictional??! People love to just pick stuff apart and point out all the negatives> I mean maybe its not as good as the first one but why be such a hater?? the tv show kicked ass and its good too see that they are still making science fiction movies.. dont be such a crab apple telling the public that the movie sucks when its just your opinion!

      Steve Newton

      Jul 29, 2008 at 1:25pm

      It's not just my opinion, it's the God's-honest truth!

      stephanie t

      Jul 30, 2008 at 11:29am

      Well, I guess I will have to see this movie now that you have given it such a scathing review. It has been my experience that movies that get poor ratings by critics are generally worth watching.

      Steve Newton

      Jul 30, 2008 at 11:55am

      have at 'er, then, Steph; I look forward to your glowing review. You may even like it just to spite me! Better hurry, though. Judging by its terrible performance at the box office, I don't expect it to be around long.

      stephanie t

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:42am

      Geez, a little defensive and full of yourself there Stevie. Having never met and knowing absolutely nothing about you, it would make little sense for me to do something specifically to spite you. I suggest to you, if you can't take the critisism maybe you should get out of the critisism business.

      Steve Newton

      Aug 1, 2008 at 10:58am

      I was just joking, Stephie. How'd you like the movie?

      x files freak

      Aug 5, 2010 at 9:04pm

      This move was so shitty, Im speechless. Terrible plot, terrible new characters ( Who the hell was that black dude? He needs to stick to rapping and that director...). Wtf? Sad when the high point is Skinner showing up to give this abortion life support.This was so bad, Im shocked Anderson and Duchovney signed on to this turd. Sad ending to a great saga.