Best Freudian moment at the Olympics

During the February 12 opening ceremony at B.C. Place Stadium, did it not seem a little odd that the infamous “fourth arm” failed to rise to the occasion for Catriona Le May Doan, blond possessor of Canada’s most winningly toothy smile, while fellow torch lighters Wayne Gretzky, Steve Nash, and Nancy Greene all got the full-length salute? No offence to the latter trio of sports heroes, but heterosexual males are still shaking their heads over that limp misstep. Ahem.

Best fashion faux pas

Premier Gordon Campbell’s Olympian efforts to promote the sale of red mittens

What was the most memorable moment of the 2010 Games? For some, it was skeleton star Jon Montgomery’s triumphant walk through Whistler Village while drinking a pitcher of beer. Others will never forget Joannie Rochette’s courageous figure-skating performance in the short program shortly after her mother’s death. Unfortunately, these achievements were sometimes overshadowed by a limelight-hogging premier who couldn’t resist any opportunity to wave his patriotic mittens in front of anyone with a camera. No wonder there’s so much talk about recalling B.C. Liberal politicians.

Best last laugh
When Team Canada defeated Team U.S.A. to take gold at the 2010 Winter Olympics, Canuck goalie Roberto Luongo managed to get a smile out of American forward Patrick Kane in the postgame handshake. Luongo’s exact quote to Kane went something like this: “I’ll see you in the playoffs this year.”

Sure enough, Luongo and his Vancouver Canucks did indeed meet up with Kane and his Blackhawks, this coming in the second round of the Western Conference playoffs. And this time Kane’s smile was considerably more joyful than in Vancouver during the Olympics. The mullet-sporting Blackhawk delivered a dagger to the heart of the Canucks nation in the third period; he and teammate Dustin Byfuglien popped in goals 25 seconds apart, putting the exclamation point on a 5-1 rout that ended the series at GM Place. Rumours have it that Kane later celebrated by ripping off a taxi driver in Vancouver while piss-drunk in his birthday suit. But those, of course, are just rumours.

Best thing about the Olympics

Vancouverites stepped out of their social circles, stopped gazing past strangers, and (OMG!) talked to each other. On the street. At bus stops. In restaurants. In the stands at sporting venues. It took a whole lot of friendly tourists to make us friendlier toward each other. Here’s to treating locals as warmly as visitors, all the time.

Best tourist legacy of the Olympics

Other cities have had ’em for years, so it’s about time Vancouver put up its own “wayfinding kiosks”. Located at strategic corners along Robson Street, in Yaletown, in Coal Harbour, and elsewhere, these signposts point the way to popular sights and show a full map of each area. Reasons to love them as a local: they highlight bike routes and False Creek ferry stops, plus, um, we still get lost in Yaletown and Chinatown. Bonus: seeing GM Place/Rogers Arena stripped of its brand and labelled Canada Hockey Place gives us a teensy bit of satisfaction every time.

Best place for bottle zombies

During the Olympics, the downtown area became an irresistible lure for urban recyclers. These opportunistic souls who haunt the streets and alleys looking for discarded beverage cans got lucky big time. Never mind the massive increase in tossed containers because of the huge numbers of visitors to the city’s core, police recorded more than 20,000 “voluntary” street pour-outs of illegally consumed liquor. The empties were promptly whisked away, to be turned into a few extra coins for the entrepreneurs. The cleaner streets were a side benefit.

Best paperweight

Just as CDs make great coasters (albeit hopelessly tacky ones), the city’s Omega Olympic Countdown Clock—still standing outside the Vancouver Art Gallery—is as useless as a paperweight. Come to think of it, considering that the price tag of the two-week party is sure to run more than a billion dollars, the 1,179-kilogram timepiece might be just what city hall needs to hold down the mountain of unpaid bills.

Best waste of an Olympic day

Media reports on the lineup for the 170-metre-long Robson Square zip line during the Olympics stated that people waited anywhere from three to eight hours for their 20-second joy ride. Was there really that little to do downtown?