I'm a cold and unfriendly woman

posted March 22nd, 2014 at 10:35 AM

And I'm sorry. If you look you will see I'm with my mom. She's there to make sure that I don't waste my time talking to men who aren't worth my time which seems to be 99% of you. Plus she thinks most of you will take advantage of me anyway because I'm nice. She's lonely and anti-social if that makes any sense and I have to be there for her. So I don't think I'll get married in this life. btw I'm Asian and I guess this is my role as the unmarried daughter. White people will say that at my age I should move out because I can afford it but she doesn't want me to.

13 Comments

well

Mar 22, 2014 at 6:59pm

sounds like you're just a pleasure! you are too good for 99% of men. enjoy your happy existence living with your mom. LOLZ!

Not Sure

Mar 22, 2014 at 7:01pm

If this is a brag, a boast, or a warning. If you are happy being cold and unfriendly, keep, keeping on with whatever makes you comfortable. It's
a free world amd that's your choice.

Posted

Mar 22, 2014 at 7:52pm

By someone other than the subject in question. If it means that much to you,
why don't you take it up with her; instead of this approach. There are people
with true problems.

Another Asian Female

Mar 22, 2014 at 9:05pm

Hi, I hope you know that this is YOUR life and not hers. The option to be there for her while living your own life is there. It's all a matter of having courage, love as well as social and time/life managing skills. I wish you the best.

Oh, and what "Not Sure" says. We'll see if my message applies..

OP

Mar 22, 2014 at 11:36pm

@Not Sure:

It's none of those. It's a "share". If you Vancouver men have ever wondered why I'm cold and unfriendly to you, now you know. I'm lonely and isolated. We're not all bitches, some of us just have odd lives.

Wanna know where those famous Vancouver gold diggers come from too? I'm being brainwashed and pressured to be one, but my heart knows it's wrong.

Not Sure times 2

Mar 23, 2014 at 3:22am

Dear OP,
Bonus points on the clarification. Sharing is the beginning of caring, so here
are a few more thoughts for you..starting with your horoscope. "All year long,
you have the choice to isolate yourself, or you can step outside of your
comfort zone and perhaps fall in love with one of the deepest loves of your
life." Next: The majority of guys don't spend too much time wondering why
you are "cold and unfriendly." Some guys are attracted to that, but most
shrug it off and warm themselves by the glow of girls/women who are warm and friendly; of which there are many in this city. Those guys are genuinely looking for a connection, and not just a hook-up. Your "heart" is in the right
place. To be a truly successful golddigger, requires a type of cynical calculation and hollow exchange that most girls/women cannot sustain for very long. Eventually, they realize that their soul's cannot be eternally nurtured by Louboutins, Birkins, Euros, Gulfstreams or baubles from Cartier.
Even Wendi Deng is now coming around to a different mode of being.
I send this with my best.

Change.

Mar 23, 2014 at 8:14am

This sounds like a genuine cry for help and the poster seems lonely. While many people would fail to understand the cultural pressures we can all relate to that struggle to find our own identity at least in our youth.

My previous doctor (who is also Asian) told me that he left his parents home and went to school across the country for the same sorts of reasons, his brother didn't and still lives "at home".

A great friend of mine married a strong woman who left her family to go to school. The family refused to pay for her schooling or help her out because she was 'only' a woman. So she got her education and paid for it all on her own even though her family is very well off. When my friend met her she was supposed to marry someone of the same upbringing, this man who loved her stole her heart and they have been together ever since, 20 years later.

To the poster:
while I understand that the cultural conditioning is very strong, you are the one to decide you life because you are suffering the consequences.
Be cold, sexless and waiting for the one rich guy to come along that your parents sell you off to. Nothing will make you feel colder than staring at the ceiling while he pounds away on you for a few minutes.

Do you have the courage to live?

ESCAPE

Mar 23, 2014 at 11:45am

So take control of your life! You're an adult! Stop doing what your momma tells you to and what she wants. That's got 'unhealthy' and 'codependent' written all over it. It's YOUR LIFE. If you don't like what you've got, why don't you change it? Raise a little hell for fuck's sake. You've allowed this woman to poison you and your perceptions of people. Move out! Your relationship with her might even improve with some distance. You aren't obligated to her in any way; it is wrong for her to use guilt to keep you down like that. Separate in every sense of the word: physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc etc. Check out therapy too while you're at it. Take control of your life. It's yours.