what is wrong with me?

posted July 21st, 2014 at 10:41 PM

My ex-bf and I were only together for about a year, but this is the worst I have ever responded to a break-up. I was with my ex for 8 years, and didn't cry this much. We were so sure that each other was the one, and he even talked about wanting to take me ring shopping, saying I saw him better than anyone else ever has, he never thought he would have a love like this, etc., and then suddenly dumped me after a few weeks of having doubts- a few weeks before we had planned to talk about moving in together. I know I should just move on and find someone who does want to be with me, but this is so hard. Seriously, when does the crying stop? When do I stop dreaming about him every night? Even my mom noticed I'm taking this one extra hard, and she lives 1000 miles away.

3 Comments

Empathy

Jul 22, 2014 at 6:19am

I'm so sorry. I felt the same way about my ex. We were together for about a year and broke up a few months ago. I thought he was the one too and in fact, I still think he is. We're just going to be that couple that finds each other after we've both gone through marriages and children and we spent our retirement years together. Maybe that is you and your BF too. It's not a comforting thought because as people we're not conditioned to accept waiting for things (look at our world! fast food, fast internet, skip this video in 5 seconds) so thinking that we have to wait for something good to happen is pure torture. But, sometimes you do have to wait. Occupy your time with other things. Try to stop dwelling on what you've lost and focus on great things to come in the future. I'm not going to tell you to remember the good times because when I did that, it only made me more sad. Instead, focus on what you have that's good right now. One day, one hour, one minute at a time, honey. It works. Hugs and good luck! You got this!!!

sky

Jul 22, 2014 at 12:46pm

You are more sad because it ended suddenly without you expecting it. It was new, exciting and thrilling. Your 8 year relationship probably had a longer period leading up to the break up so you had more time to prepare (?). I know how you feel, I had a breakup like yours once too. It was about 8 years ago and I still think of the person once in a while. The pain is gone but that feeling of unfinished business is still there. You have to be strong and rise above it. Let him realise what a huge mistake he made..nothing more satisfying than seeing them regret it later, but at that point it'll be too late because you'll be with an even better guy! :) good luck.

moving in

Jul 23, 2014 at 1:07pm

I doubt you knew him (or he you) as much as you thought since you hadn't even lived together yet. You were still in the infatuation stage, supported by the fact you didn't see the breakup coming at all.

You were as much in love with an idea as the real thing. Being the breakee usually also hurts more than breaking up with someone or it being mutual.