From one single mama to another; STOP! You are so much more than meets the eye. Beauty is soul deep. The battles you wage against yourself are not lost on the little eyes watching you. Although your heart is weary and sometimes you may not feel good enough, please know that you are without a doubt the most divine creature on earth. Why? You bore a child and you made sacrifices for that child to ensure their quality of life. Selflessness is something most people can't be bothered to understand. But you are a walking monument of it. You are an empire. Carry yourself accordingly for the sake of the little warrior you're raising.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.Kahlil gibran

You typify the loveless, modern woman. Abandoning your partner because he gets sick? Contemporary folks recognize alcoholism as a disease. Let's hope your kiddo never gets sick, 'cause clearly you aren't in anything for the long haul.

I have to say, its easy to play the victim card but you are not without blame. You willingly got involved with a drunk and had his kid, now you want sympathy. Sorry but you made bad choices with the people you associate with, you made your bed now you will forever lay in it.

1. Stop corresponding with him unless it has to do with the health and well being of your child. If you have to communicate, do it via email so you don't have to put up with his verbal abuse. Loving heart or not, it's over! Get on with your life. Stop letting him victimize you, it's only making you weaker.

2. You have no right NOT going after him for child support! Your daughter’s money isn't yours to barter with. If you don't use the money for her food, clothing, shelter, activities or daycare now, then she can always put it toward her education later. Get a court order and get The Family Maintenance Enforcement Program involved! They will enforce the support for you. The only communication between you and your ex at this point should be about visitation only.

3. Your child is a blessing and you sound like a good mother for getting her out an abusive situation with your ex abusive alcoholic spouse. You did the right thing and I commend you for being strong. It takes a lot of perseverance being a single parent and you should be proud of yourself for making your environment safe for your child. He's had more than enough time to grow up get help for himself, especially knowing the precious cost of his actions.

4. In time you will meet someone. There are good men out there :) Stay positive for you and your little one.

5. Don't listen to the haters on this board. They have no idea what you are going through until they walk a mile in your shoes!

Having been in your boat, I can attest that you will be loved right in time. You're doing the right thing in waiting & healing. There's been a few nasty posts that I think you should ignore. I know you left because your ex was not only a drunk, but an abusive partner. It isn't abandonment to leave an unhealthy situation for you and your child. Alcoholism may be a disease, but abuse isn't.
I know you're not looking for sympathy, you're looking for support and reassuring. I don't see you being a victim here. Far from. You're very empowered. But even then we still feel lonely. Here's the thing...parenting a young child is a lonely game. You're isolated much of the time. It is part of being a good parent! Who respects the single mommy out every night at the pubs and clubs? No one. Occasionally, sure. But don't make it a regular thing, because that's time you'll never get back with your little one. Dating will happen. Trust me it will. When it shows up, you'll be strong and your kid will be whole, healthy and loved.
The best advice anyone gave me when I was a young newly single mom, was to be the partner you wish you had for yourself. And I was. Loneliness is what you make it.
Much love to you...

You are sad. I am not surprised, either. Being with an addict is heart breaking. Ignore the previous comments criticizing you. Addiction experts will tell you that maintaining a safe distance from the addict in your life is not only okay, it is often necessary, especially if you have the tendency to enable. Those calling you out for leaving are clueless...that's all. Clueless.

And I thank you all. I need all perspectives. The support is really appreciated.

@wow, really

Inspiring defense of lame-os.

Look, when you have a kid, that kid is priority one. Ideally, kid is surrounded by two loving parents and for that matter as many sensible, strong, and caring human beings that you can possibly get.

But should one of them turn into a drunk - and not the funny, gently hiccuping Walter Brennan type but a "scathing, vicious jerk," you pull the eject button on them, and you do it as soon as you can because you keep the kid away from danger, because priority one.

It's not much different than your partner, uh, falling into a vat of chemicals and becoming a radiation hazard. Yes, in principle you support them. In practice, you keep your kid far, far, far away.

@OP

I don't know you, but you write well and you seem to have a pretty good mind and have been through some pretty wack times. To me, that suggests a woman of character and smarts. Those are great qualities in a dating situation! Throw in some "natural good looks" and, yeah, you're gonna be fine when and if you decide to throw your oar back in the waters.

Yeah, no idea. Single mother, ruined a perfectly good relationship with a decent provider because she had emotional problems. I had a few years with Dad (who did have a bit of a temper, he'd raise his voice, but he never laid hands on me or mom) so I turned out better than my little brother, who was a highschool dropout drug addict until he eventually died a mysterious death after having been very ill for some time.

I have some idea what she might be going through: an emotional hissy fit that has real long-term consequences. A verbally abusive alcoholic father is better than no father, imo. If there were physical abuse, she'd allege that. "Verbal abuse" is really a newspeak term that means "I was talked to in a way I did not like!" Grow up.

how archaic some of these posts are.. @op, ignore them all..
I speak from experience that being in a relationship with the fathwr of your children who ended up as a violent abusive drug addict that you did the right thing by leaving. no child should have to grow up in a home like that...regardless of what the ridiculous and pointless posts above have stated!! My advice to you..and i hope you follow it..is to make an appointment with Battered Womens Support Services and they will hook yoi up with free councelling and drop in group sessions. you are not alone in this. many of us have been there. One more piecw of advice....please do not look on here for further advice. abuse comes in more forms than black eyes and broken bones. research the YWCA site as they have a good description of what you have gone through.