Im getting sick of these dumb kids who fancy themselves experts in Asian culture. They pretend to speak Japanese and Korean. They announce their love of kimchi and bubble tea. Im happy people are open to new cultures but jesus its getting out of hand. Ive just heard of a new trend where white kids are getting plastic surgery to look asian or even identifying as asian. I blame kpop ansd anime.

I've written the only confession using the word 'kimchi'. I've also written the only confession using the word 'enchilada'. Now, how the hell with over a decade of confessions has the rest of Vancouver not ever thought about these two essential things??? Sometimes I think my life is the Truman show.

a built-in refrigerator, a heated toilet that talks, constant long vacations to just about every third world shithole with a typhoon season, an insecure partner afraid of commitment, all the kimchi fried rice you could possibly stomach, and instead you chose to be happily married. whatever.