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Beyonce/Jay Z concert

His ugly mug and her giant ham hocks projected on a 6-storey screen had me looking at my shoes and watch all evening.

Delayed emotions...

Being in my late thirties with a family of my own certain things in my life have taken a backseat until now. The other day my son asked me a very simple and straight forward question, “Mommy what’s it like to be adopted?” No one has ever asked me that question, I’ve never even asked myself that question...

It hurts

Not gonna lie: I know how I feel and I can’t help it. You make my heart hurt. Sometimes I think about what I would say to you, if I ever had the chance, to tell you how I feel about you. But I can’t tell you, and it hurts me knowing that you’re out there and I can’t say what I want to say.

So sick of OD Crisis

I'm as empathetic as they come. I understand that the overdose crisis is a huge problem. That being said, I'm effing sick of hearing about it. I live with chronic pain and have never taken an opioid. I'm sick of people associating being in pain with drug addicts. People assume weird stuff about me if they find out I have pain. Also because I'm not an addict, I can't get in to the medical programs for people living with pain. St. Paul's and VGH have programs, but they revolve around opioid addicts. I'm just so sick of being both lumped in with them and denied any medical help just because I'm not shooting fentanyl in an alley. Just because people aren't drug addicts doesn't mean that we don't need help!

Hormone-afta

After the conclusion of the bitter NAFTA negotiations featuring Trump's insults and blustering about ruining Canada with tariffs if we did't do it HIS way, AND, all his show-boat shenanigans about dairy; we learn today that US dairy carries rBST, commercially known as Posilac; a growth hormone. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved rBST for use in 1993. Health Canada reviewed it in the late 1990s but did not approve it. Wow. 'Please let us flood your market with hormone loaded milk.' 'Errrr...thanks dude but no thanks.' I confess, that after all the insults, threats, bullying tactics and now hormones, wouldn't it be great if Canadians quietly didn't buy American dairy products? Their milk market here would 'dry up'. Udderly brilliant!

Creativity in my life

It involves artistic thinking. I can no longer find new and open ideas to learn at university because they’re all wrapped by the same ideology. That is why I have been rejecting the ideology and searching for creativity elsewhere. Creativity is certainly not in the mainstream. Stockbroker computer nerds are now more unique and creative than most artists at Emily Carr.

Shelf

My boyfriend didn't get into law school at UBC but he got into law school at Dalhousie so I moves with him to Nova Scotia because I know long distance relationships don't work. It was really hard because all of my friends and family are in Vancouver. I could only find part-time work there in retail. The job markets completely different there. So after he graduated he got a job with a law firm in Vancouver. Lawyers aren't paid a lot here so he applied for jobs in Toronto and got one with a big law firm that pays 25% more to start. So now I have to leave my family and friends again and have to start all over again. Hes so busy with work that I have to find us an apartment in Toronto and figure out how car insurance and medical works and where to buy groceries. We're engaged now and its just so hard. I have a dream of being a professional singer/dancer and I had to put it on hold for him again and again. I just feel like I put my dreams on hold for him and its always about him and his school and career and my dreams are important too and I feel like he doesn't support me in my dreams.

Have IPF { Idiopathic Pulmonary Disease Oct 2016

Was informed in Oct 2016 that I have IPF, terminal disease < no cure . less a lung transfer but I had quad bypass in 2014 so odds were not good > > So I got myself out of a marriage that had been dead for years { own bedrooms for years } old my house { bought in 1980 so made $$$ big time } So now it is 2018 < have survived and VGH is talking possible transplant < lots of steps to even getting to this point however now it is a decision to lose 40 lbs and look at it does not mean I would be approved . I have totally isolated myself , I go weeks without talking to anyone except safe on food staff, food servers , and local gas stations > I worked in an industry where I was face to face/ on the phone daily for 40 years, flew somewhere every week, drove over a million miles > Once had a staff of 40 that reported to me, now I I sit in my basement suite { it is nice }, queen size bed < 60 inch TV , Laptop 2 blocks from top mountain hwy , landlords are my age and never home and I should be happy that I made it this far > My brother died at 22 in car crash , oldest brother has spine disease and is in wheelchair , my Dad at 67 died of cancer < MOm made it to 93 living in same house from 1951 , So why am I on here bitching ???? I miss people > I try walking thru the save on to smile and say hello < always hold the door open for anyone male / female , please and thank u is a given thanks to my parents > But I have spent the last xmas < thanksgiving // new years on my own I am not a slob < am 6 2 240 lbs < well mannered , and given that I bought house in 1980 have the $$$ to do what I want within reason So why am I so alone

I SAW YOU

Lunch at Las Margaritas

May 28th lunch at Las Margaritas, we both sat at front window tables. I was there with my friend,...

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