It's times like these I wish I could have my memories erased, my body frozen in a tube, and be catapulted into the sun. Time heals all sorts of shit right? ...Right...?

I’m tired of trying to figure out whats real and whats not I’m tired of spending every day wondering if love really is what I believe it to be I’m tired of going through the motions and not taking chances I’m tired of allowing the pessimist to push me to my precipice It’s frustrating feeling like I’m crazy for having hopes for something real I’m done with the run around and never really getting anywhere I’m done with the people who just take but never give back I’m I’m through trying to make things work for the sake of having history I’m through trying to force myself to be content just because other people settled I’m through trying to turn potential into promise and never seeing results I’m through trying to prove I deserve to be trusted when I wasn’t who betrayed it It’s disheartening feeling like every time I get something I have to be scared of losing it I used to think that if you treated people a certain way, they would be genuine I used to think that giving somebody a fair chance would lead to real romance I used to think that great love was a given, if I wanted it. I used to think that everybody had good intentions, like me but I guess I thought wrong. It’s humbling realizing that everything isn’t always as simple as the movies make it seem I’m learning that timing is everything I’m learning that happiness is a choice I’m learning that things happen when they’re supposed to I’m learning that just because I want it doesn’t mean it deserves me And it’s crazy that after being tired, done, and through, I still believe in the possibilities of me, and you… Whoever you may be.

On vacation now. Dreading returning to work. I wish I could have figured my life out better so that I didn’t have to labour to survive. I completely hate the people I work with yet the job pays well. That is the only reason to go in every day: the biweekly deposit of numbers that I then disperse to keep myself alive.

• The opposite of love isn’t hate; it is indifference. People who ghost are primarily focused on avoiding their own emotional discomfort and they aren’t thinking about how it makes the other person feel. The lack of social connections to people who are met online also means there are less social consequences to dropping out of someone’s life. The more it happens, either to themselves or their friends, the more people become desensitized to it and the more likely they are to do it to someone else. For many people ghosting can result in feelings of being disrespected, used and disposable. If you have known the person beyond more than a few dates then it can be even more traumatic. When someone we trust disengages from us it feels like a very deep betrayal. Ghosting is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty. It essentially renders you powerless and leaves you with no opportunity to ask questions or be provided with information that would help you emotionally process the experience. It silences you and prevents you from expressing your emotions and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem. Regardless of the ghoster’s intent, ghosting is a passive- aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars. When someone ghosts you, it says nothing about you or your worthiness and everything about the person doing the ghosting. It shows he doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don't understand the impact of their behaviour or worse don’t care. In any case they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy dialogue with you.

Running into you the other day made me lose my appetite - my date noticed. Thanks for walking right up to our table. Thanks for the hug. Thanks for always finding a way to remind me of how much I love you. I can't believe I still miss you. I wonder if you even have any clue at all sometimes... do you know I've even had to give up music? 2 years no music because of you.. or because of me, really. Wish I could say it's helping, but I don't know if anything ever will. Guess I'll always love you. Wish I could have told you.

with the way the big banks ( and some credit unions) do business these days. If it's anything other than withdrawing or depositing money, then you have to see a so-called "investment specialist" and to do that you have to make an appointment. You can't just walk in any more and get something done, the specialists have full appointment calendars and are never able to look after the "drop in " customer. This morning at the main branch of the Bank of Montreal in downtown Vancouver there were at least 10 of these advisors sitting around with no customers in their office. I complained and yet not one could carve five minutes out to see me ( even though I told them it would only take a minute or two) They have just reported a profit of ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX MILLION DOLLARS in the last 90 DAYS or SEVENTEEN MILLION DOLLARS FOR EACH AND EVERY DAY. A little attention to the customer's needs wouldn't go astray. Why not have a person who is "appointment free" to provide some convenience for clients.

You'd think it would work, but I've always had bad results messaging people I already know through their dating profile.

After an extremely horrible breakup in which I was used, abused, and belittled, I turned to friends to find some comfort and solace. Two of them were men that I'd known for years. I was essentially taken advantage of by both of them in my vulnerable state. One of them took me out for dinner (nice!) and then he basically forced himself upon me when we were alone together back at my place. The other one--after getting me into bed, when I didn't want it--told me that he had always loved me very much, and that I was better than that, and that he would always be there for me, and yet he disappeared once my confusion about his intentions reared its head. If you wonder why women are starting to despise men, re-read this post. Then read it again. I guess when you run the world, you lose things like "a conscience" and "decency."

but when I'm really missing you, I watch Tom Cruise movies.

People with children seem to complain all the time about how they can't afford life and are unhappy in general. So I really do wonder if these people (seems like everyone) Did not sit down and REALLY think about how much it costs to have a kid, and to financially support it until its at least about 16 or so. That is a lot of years you have to not only survive, but be happy with YOUR life and grow as a person. If you have nothing to offer a kid financially or through A LOT of varied life experience what are you really giving them... "life"? How many people live in poverty and are uneducated and are totally miserable? I just want to understand what goes through peoples mind.