I don't know what to do. Having 2 days of alone time a month (less... because it's part of a days) is not enough. I need to stay away from him/her/sker/per/ler/ner/fur/dur/grrr/rrrrr/seeer/sirrr, etc. I decided to use all the genders so she could not identify this message.

I've dealt with a lot of these devout Christians with inflated egos, trying to shove their beliefs down my throat. I've heard quite enough of how "God is Good" and I'm tired of their gobbledygook about them praying that I get to know the invisible man up in the sky even better. Whether you believe in God, Mother Nature, the Devil or Santa Claus is nobody's business but your own. I don't need to know any details about you just as you don't need to know details about me. Good God keep your nonsense to yourselves and goddammit mind your own business. Live and let live.

She's a fox to say the least. Blonde bombshell. There's a locked door in my TV room to go upstairs to their main floor. When I am jerking off in my TV room I have fantasized about the wife coming down the steps and surprising me with a blowjob in the very least. That would be a great Christmas present. Don't even get me going on what outfit I would like to see her in... I need a girlfriend lol

No relapses. No self destructions. No emotionally harming my ex. No cake walk. No fairytale. Hard as sh*t year. But sober without fail none the less. Merry Christmas to me.

I really f-ing hate them! Including the one in my car, my phone, and this one on my tablet. Hate them! Give me a tactile button, or a proper keyboard and mouse any day! F-ing annoying technology.

A cold, dark, slippery-sided hole where light never falls. Pervaded only by thoughts of self-loathing, anxiety and shame. It swallows hope, laughter and love. This is depression. Now is the season it hunts us. Ruthlessly. If you know someone, be patient. Don't talk, just listen with compassion. Just be present.

How did I end up here? How many people say this when they wake up in the morning? I'm not rich, my future is unstable, I don't own my own home or have a "loving family" BUT I live my life on my terms. I have made unpopular choices my WHOLE life! I didn't get into debt for schooling I didn't care about. I didn't get pregnant just to have a family or someone to love me. I didn't pursue traditional employment to "secure my future". My life rules went this way: Don't get pregnant, Don't get into debt, Explore the world, life, people and alternative views as much as possible. Have new experiences all the time. Now here I am, older and stress/debt free - uncertainly everywhere (thankfully) with an understanding that anything is possible, good or bad - at peace and ready for 2020, my next adventure awaits.

You know, the new discovery one... They encountered the Klingons and just talked for the entire episode. It was like a university arts class. *sigh* They destroyed Star Trek like Disney destroyed Star Wars.

I made a judgement not too long ago to someone I walked away from and shut the door on. I learned about their "condition", how they'd only get worse with time, how it would take everyone down with them. When I looked at all the "symptoms" and saw a match, I figured it was a lost cause, especially as there was so much bad press about people with this condition. I mean, it was pretty much "run away from them, they are monsters". I grew up around that, I didn't want this in my life, especially when I had feelings for them. Recently, I got a heap of info from those with this "condition", and how they experience it. It was truly sad and revealed a lot, how they don't know yet they do, how they are gripped with fear and it compels them to end things first because they assume they'll be dumped once you catch on about what they got only because it's happened before. You can't bring it up as it makes things worse, yet if you don't, they don't get better. I feel awful, but I can't let them know. Doing so only fuels their "condition". They are in so much pain. I believe that they felt the loss they professed when I left and I wished they didn't, but they created the conditions that prevented their isolation. I can't help them. If I try, they will destroy me as punishment for leaving; it's part of their "condition". They think they're alone. They aren't, yet because they're dangerous, they have to be kept at bay so they are. They will never feel what they deserve to feel, which is the love they are worth. If they could only get the help they think is below them.

There's no point to anything. I pay the bills, they build up again. I clean the bathroom, it just gets dirty again. I cook and eat, and am hungry again. I'm just tired of it all, everything is like one big pointless repetitive chore.