Starring Megan Fox. Rated PG.
How many villains does a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sequel need? Five? Really?
The Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies were criticized for being overstuffed when the villain count reached two or three. Now April O’Neil (Megan Fox)—a journalist who doesn’t do any journalisming anymore—and her turtle pals have to battle Shredder (Brian Tee, personality-free), an evil scientist (Tyler Perry, hamming it up), two goons (Gary Anthony Williams and WWE wrestler Stephen Farrelly, aka Sheamus) and an alien brain oozing out of a robot (voiced by Brad Garrett, another quality ham) for control of a portal that’s spitting out a Death Star-thing that’ll destroy the world.
If you’re wondering why the other bad guys would help an alien blow up their planet, you’re doing too much thinking and should join April in her tight outfits and run around some more.
The problem isn’t the bad guys themselves—Perry, Garrett, and the goons are kind of fun—it’s that so little effort has gone into creating stories for them. And with the good guys now multiplying with the addition of Arrow’s Stephen Amell as an ambitious cop, there’s just no time to understand what everyone wants, let alone care.
The sequel is marginally better than the original in that there’s more focus on the turtles than on April, but the one interesting part of their story—they’re tempted to drink a potion that’ll turn them human—is shoved aside in favour of pushing a teamwork theme. (C’mon, wouldn’t you like to see the turtles as strapping young men?)
The action, directed by Earth to Echo’s Dave Green, is coherent enough, and the tone’s lighter than the first. It’s more obviously a kid flick, which is a good thing. Wouldn’t want any adults to walk into this movie thinking it’s for them.