The supposed nobility of being the suffering victim? Not good.

You're an adult with, I assume, adult communication skills. Go and talk to her diplomatically about it. There's a good chance that she's not even aware that she's disturbing your privacy, and would be totally responsive to your concerns once you tell her.
Otherwise, how will she know that there's a problem?

As for your own unassertiveness - You really need to get over that. There are Assertiveness Training courses you could check out . If you don't find a way past that kind of self-defeating behavior, it will only get worse as the years go by. (You sound like me when I was much younger.)
Good luck.

Maybe sometime you could offer to buy carpetting (or rugs) for her apt.. so that it'd be a little quieter.
She will get the gentle hint.

You can buy a box of 200 pairs of earplugs on Uline dot com for like 50 bucks. I used them at my open concept office. Work like a charm!

Go up and knock on her door, introduce yourself and tell her you can hear her stomping around when she's home. I lived below a "stomper" for over a year and he made my life hell. I'd hear him stomping around at 6:00 a.m. and I couldn't get back to sleep, and then same thing in the evenings. But even after asking him to please "step more softly" he didn't change his habits. I had to keep detailed logs of the stomping and other noises from above, have a friend/neighbour over to "witness" the noise, and after writing numerous complaint letters to my Strata Council, having a private meeting with Council where they'd issue him a fine, but he appealed every time. Council believed him (he said he made no noise) over me (a 15-year resident owner). Finally he sold and moved ... and he new owners are "normal" and quiet. If talking to your neighbour doesn't help, then keep records and write to your building owner/Strata Council and get the matter "on record".

Buy a nice pair of slippers and bring them up to her. As you hand them to her, tell her you got her some slippers because sounds travels and it's gotten to the point where you can't hear the TV/enjoy a quiet dinner/sleep...
She'll get the idea.

Fact: All upstairs neighbours are stompers. But some have loud dogs or leave the tv/music on full blast at odd hours too, so in the scheme of things you got off pretty lucky.

... I think we all know that the only way to settle this is the old flaming bag of dog doo on her doorstep.

@ You'll just put up with it? - She's also a friend and is friends with other friends in my building so if I did say anything it would be very carefully worded so to not disturb the peace between everyone in the building. I'm not a pushover but I certainly don't need to "assert" myself. I'm not a dick.

@Now living quiet life - You are awful and I'm so glad I don't have to deal with people like you. Get a life.

@Sensitive ears - Not a bad suggestion but she has carpets and it wouldn't do anything.

@ a suggestion - Her apartment is carpeted. She's a heel walker. It wouldn't make a difference.

@earplugs - I'm not living my life with earplugs. I want to hear music, movies, my kettle boiling, phone ringing, etc.

@Natty - Yep, I did.

@Assertiveness Training - A flaming bag of shit wouldn't go over very well in a small 3 story walkup apartment building.