I'm a vegetarian, and..

posted August 30th, 2018 at 2:47 PM

...because I just went through a brain-melting breakup in which I was afforded no succor, explanation, or maturity, I went to A&W and I got myself a Mama Burger combo (I think that's what is was) with an iceless root beer and I had a few shots of vodka and fuck being a vegetarian today and fuck that guy. It all tasted fantastic. I'll be in agony tonight and tomorrow, but we do what we must in times of need. My heart is broken. I am not going to find solace in kale, for fuck's sakes.

16 Comments

They Say

Aug 30, 2018 at 3:43pm

You Are What You Eat,
Mama

Lame

Aug 30, 2018 at 4:18pm

Just eat a good veggie burger. I’m glad you did what you felt you needed to do but you really could’ve gotten a pretty awesome sloppy vegetarian meal.

Survey Says

Aug 30, 2018 at 4:33pm

I'm sure that i can find a naughty way to cheer you up, dear.

Rebound

Aug 30, 2018 at 5:26pm

I’m a dirty meat eater but if you can look past it like you did with the burger, I’m happy to provide several distractions to get him off your mind

This is

Aug 30, 2018 at 5:29pm

a fucking great confession.

@Survey Says

Aug 30, 2018 at 5:51pm

Wanna come over? I don't care which gender you feel you are today. We can gnaw on flesh together.

I'm A Troll, and..

Aug 30, 2018 at 5:51pm

did you stop being a "SJW" for the day, too?

@lame

Aug 30, 2018 at 5:56pm

I've tried honestly and I have not found a good veggie burger that can replicate the juicy, delicious taste of a real beef burger.
Maybe I live a year less (or more) because of it but I love my beef burgers

Truth

Aug 30, 2018 at 5:56pm

That’s it.

Anonymous

Aug 30, 2018 at 5:59pm

I tried to be a vegetarian in the 70's for about 6 months or so, but got fed up for 2 reasons: the first one was back then there really were no options other than eating endless cheese sandwiches and even worse I reckoned was the superior air I acquired.

In the end I decided I didn't want to live on the fringes of society, food wise. I had better things to worry about, like my career.

Vegetarians think they're better than everyone else. It's impossible not to think that way. It's a shame really.