Good Advice

My mother told me before I got married to keep a nest egg for myself in case my marriage went bad and to always work and never depend on a man for anything. I have been saving $100 a paycheck and putting it away for 10 years. This amount is now over $15,000. I have never told my husband about this nest egg even though we have seriously struggled financially at times but its my money.

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How would you feel

Sep 11, 2018 at 11:51pm

if your husband did the same thing, and hid money away from you? Why don't you just keep separate accounts and be honest with each other? Why did you marry someone you cannot trust and choose to be dishonest with? In any case, I believe if you divorce, all the assets under your name will be counted. Unless you stashed it under your bed but then you run the risk of losing it all in a fire.

Crafty

Sep 12, 2018 at 12:57am

It'll pay for a bed in a hostel, and a storage cube for a year... and a lawyer.
That's good planning for separation and divorce (personal experience). I see an almost certain one in your future. That magnitude of trust issue is THE necessary and sufficient condition for an ugly breakup.
They have (onshore or offshore) trusts for a reason. It's so you can keep stuff in your name, married or not. And not keep secrets.

I love this. So Divorce Court, it's cliche.

Anonymous

Sep 12, 2018 at 4:49am

Good idea.
My wife has her own money and I have mine. We share costs.

I'd hate her to have access to my money, and I'm sure she thinks the same way.

13 5Rating: +8

according to the law

Sep 12, 2018 at 5:30am

it's his money too

17 8Rating: +9

Do Unto Others...

Sep 12, 2018 at 7:22am

I think there’s a saying - do unto others as you would have done to you. Treat people as you would like to be treated. Maybe you wouldn’t mind if your hubby secretly took his mom’s advice to stash a monthly $100 in case he wants to bail? Heck, wouldn’t that be funny if this was happening and you were both doing the same secret savings? Then you both would have extra money to spend after a decade or two...kidding! But just imagine.... =) funny right?! And maybe a relief too in case of emergencies that hopefully don’t involve a broken marriage for maybe for big house repair or a well deserved family vacation.

15 2Rating: +13

Do Unto Others...

Sep 12, 2018 at 7:22am

I think there’s a saying - do unto others as you would have done to you. Treat people as you would like to be treated. Maybe you wouldn’t mind if your hubby secretly took his mom’s advice to stash a monthly $100 in case he wants to bail? Heck, wouldn’t that be funny if this was happening and you were both doing the same secret savings? Then you both would have extra money to spend after a decade or two...kidding! But just imagine.... =) funny right?! And maybe a relief too in case of emergencies that hopefully don’t involve a broken marriage for maybe for big house repair or a well deserved family vacation.

6 1Rating: +5

A good idea

Sep 12, 2018 at 8:30am

Yes it’s smart. Good on ya for taking care of No 1! Never depend on anyone financially.

15 9Rating: +6

Ignore the first commenter

Sep 12, 2018 at 8:38am

That is great advice and I’d do exactly the same thing. We can have partnerships but in life we are inherently alone and need to look after ourselves. What if your husband died and you didn’t have a second income? There are all sorts of variables. Saving your own money is smart. Hopefully your husband has done the same thing. Maybe when you get older and you’re still together you can enjoy a lovely vacation together with the money you saved!

16 5Rating: +11

but everything he makes

Sep 12, 2018 at 9:30am

is "our money", right? the man has to be the provider and sacrifice everything if things go sour, you'll get half of everything plus your secret stash. sounds like you're just a shitty person and your husband shouldn't trust you with anything. perhaps he should leave you and cut his losses.

This, right here

Sep 12, 2018 at 10:06am

Is why I don't date/consider ever marrying white or white washed women from vancouver

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