Lumps

posted December 22nd, 2018 at 9:54 PM

I found a large lump on my neck and another on my collarbone. I probably have nothing to worry about. They're probably nothing more than swollen lymph nodes fighting off the last of my cold. I went to the walk-in clinic earlier this week and the doctor said the same thing... except he said it was strange they showed up near the end of my cold and that there are no signs of an infection anywhere. I'm supposed to go back to the clinic for an ultrasound after Christmas if they still haven't shrunk by then. I know I'm just worrying for nothing. I know there's no point in being paranoid. ... but what if it's cancer? There's still so much I want to do. I'm so scared I'll never find real love. I want to realize my goals. I don't want my parents to suffer. ... and at the same time I want for it to be cancer because I just don't want to be here anymore.

3 Comments

Decisive

Dec 23, 2018 at 4:39pm

Don't you know what you want in life? Make up your goddamn mind, sheesh.

It must be a very scary place

Dec 23, 2018 at 7:08pm

Inside your brain.

Get on this ASAP!

Dec 26, 2018 at 11:45pm

An ultrasound will only show the size and location of your lump(s), not if they're cancerous or not. Go to the hospital as soon as you can. Show them your lumps and ask them to do a needle biopsy to check for cancer. You aren't supposed to be able to feel the lymph nodes down by your collarbone, only the ones in your neck behind your jaw (especially when you have a virus or are actively fighting an infection). A needle biopsy won't take long, is minimally invasive, and will answer your cancer question quickly.

Know that if it is cancer, it's not necessarily a death sentence. I found a lump in my neck when I was 24, after a year of getting sick with flu/colds multiple times. Turns out I had Hodgkin's Disease, a type of lymphatic cancer. It was cured with radiation therapy and I've been clear for 26 years. But you must act quickly - if it is cancer, catching it before it spreads (metastasis) is essential to your recovery. Just because you're not enjoying your life right now doesn't mean you should deny yourself the opportunity to create an amazing life in the future. If cancer teaches you anything, it's that you simply don't know what tomorrow will bring. Trust me, I've been there. Good luck to you!!!