I've had two pending surgeries put on hold indefinitely - one for my heart and one for a benign (90% chance, not confirmed) tumour in a tricky spot. The heart situation was a long time coming but they didn't want to operate until it was absolutely necessary, despite the decline in my quality of life. Now, I don't know when either surgery will take place and I'm scared that my heart's going to give out before the COVID situation eases up and the hospitals start re-scheduling surgeries. It's not their fault, I'm not blaming the hospitals or my surgeons at all - they're doing their best in an impossible situation and I'm so grateful for their dedication. I'm just reeling from all the anxiety; trying to keep it together for my family is taking most of my energy.