Lonely Pretendarian

I pretended to be someone I'm not for decades to much financial and career success. Now that I've been exposed, all those who claim the same status and receive the same special privileges like me are trying to distance themselves from me.


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Blessing in the lesson

Apr 1, 2021 at 5:26pm

Now you have the permission to be your authentic self and attract new people who like and respect the real you.

22 5Rating: +17

When you can't make the waves, all you can do is ride them.

Apr 1, 2021 at 5:54pm

So... now you're at risk of becoming a real and better human being instead of being a deceptive snake associated and steered by deceptive snakes? Good to see there may actually be some hope for you. One down 11,999 to go.

11 9Rating: +2

The interesting case of the petite bourgeoisie fraud.

Apr 1, 2021 at 6:22pm

Oooh, tell us more, fake credentials? I knew a person that worked in the BC government for years and moved up the government career track with a fake degree until after 20 years of working for the BC government, they did a background check on him because he was going to be promoted yet again, and he was caught. He did all the jobs a person without a degree shouldn't be capable of, so some people lead us to believe. They quietly fired him not to embarrass themselves, and he moved overseas.

Personally, I think they did him a favour, being a government bureaucrat would be more humiliating than be a failure.

14 4Rating: +10


Apr 1, 2021 at 6:42pm

would not worry about it, at least you are free of that now. Time to make some true friends who accept you for who you are. And you are a good person. Plus it may be some of those you once knew were the real posers.

7 6Rating: +1


Apr 1, 2021 at 9:18pm

I wish people would stop throwing around "privilege" like it's something that is GIVEN only to special groups.
It's not "privilege" when you work your ass off for years to get something- it's a reward.


Apr 1, 2021 at 9:38pm

... you can't pretend to be something you're not.

They're just trying to turn you off.

Don't let 'em turn you off.

5 4Rating: +1

Let it go

Apr 1, 2021 at 11:38pm

I was the same. Worked in the corporate world for decades in order to survive. Now I'm 3 years out, I'm beginning to feel better. The transition is hard because you don't know who you are any more. It's kind of like deprogramming yourself after being in a cult. I was forced out and fought it so I think that's why it took so long for me to recover. But I look back at how I behaved then and I'm embarrassed. I was a brainwashed jerk. Thought I was better than other people. Glad I've now learned that lesson.

17 6Rating: +11


Apr 2, 2021 at 3:38am

It is a privilege when it's only given to you if your part of the special group. And it is a privilege if it's taken away when they find out you aren't really part of that group.

7 5Rating: +2

Twice as good

Apr 2, 2021 at 4:44am

It is a testament to how society functions when a career can be built on deception and prosper. That only works if you look a certain way. Others of us are undervalued, underestimated and generally distrusted without merit, having to work much harder with no advancement. I personally believe we should all be on equal footing, free education, let people pursue the opportunities they want without financial worry, and when they knock on those doors, let's hope society finally gets it right enough not to judge the person before them as second rate.

6 4Rating: +2

@interesting case

Apr 2, 2021 at 5:25am

Our obsession with accreditation is corporate insecurity. There are people who would be great at the job that will never see their potential utilized because of this insistence of something that doesn't guarantee a quality worker.
We used to do on-the-job training. In that probationary period, we got to see what they were like as people and whether they do the job. There was less turnover because training ensured a decent performance. Interviews took care of "fit" and catching obvious red flags. Now, the Interviews are lazy, the selection is based on looking for ready-mades who, really, can "perform" good marketing skills and are thrown into a job where they struggle because of hasty onboarding.
Performance and results take second place to popularity because we stopped expecting civility, consideration and accountability so we look to who is likeable because that's an easy default shortcut, even though it proves to be a failure in dysfunctional companies, which on Glassdoor seem to be growing in numbers. Leadership fails to lead in these essentials but because they market well due to a piece of paper that says "I had the money to buy a shortcut to the c-suite", they stay with bloated salaries, perpetuating mediocrity while maintaining tolerable toxicity.
We don't have a skills shortage. We have a diseased system that's fearfully traded progress for comfort and everyone at every level is too worried about repaying the student loans they took on to buy into what amounts to a career lottery to say no to it.

8 3Rating: +5

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