Am I wrong?

I’m feeling a little insulted but I’m not sure if it’s a reasonable way to feel under the circumstances. A couple of days ago I invited a buddy to get together this evening, and we made a plan. It was definite and I was looking forward to it. He sent me a message a little while ago saying he had made plans with some other guys (who I don’t know) to do something different, and invited me to join them. So I’m feeling ambivalent because he didn’t talk to me before he changed his plans, but he did ask me to join them. It still feels kind of rude to me. If it was me who wanted to change plans I’d already made with a friend, I would have called them to discuss it before I made plans with other people, even if I wanted to include him too.

23 Comments

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Sounds inconsiderate of your friend

Apr 15, 2022 at 4:11pm

I’d be insulted too.

28 1Rating: +27

It is...

Apr 15, 2022 at 4:33pm

... rude, but not as rude as simply blowing you off for something that is obviously more fun. On the other hand, it's not like you're dating (so far as I understand this) so, like, why not just go have fun with the group?

8 9Rating: -1

Yes

Apr 15, 2022 at 4:52pm

Trust your feelings. It’s insulting when friends find the bigger, better deal. Especially when they invite you to hang out with ppl you don’t even know. I would take as they don’t want the direct intimate conversation between just the two of you, and prefer something more impersonal in a group setting.

0 0Rating: 0

AIW

Apr 15, 2022 at 5:18pm

You are NOT wrong. That is rude!

21 1Rating: +20

Sounds like he

Apr 15, 2022 at 6:46pm

Doesn't really care what you think but on the other hand this is a post a 10 year old would get upset about.
Are you a 10 year old?
If so I'll say suck it up princess.
The world doesn't revolve around you

4 38Rating: -34

I'm sarcastic.

Apr 15, 2022 at 7:40pm

Capricious Vancouverites, I couldn't imagine?

15 1Rating: +14

Not you drinking buddy

Apr 15, 2022 at 8:54pm

I hate that crap. Especially if it involves hockey

7 4Rating: +3

You already know the answer

Apr 15, 2022 at 9:20pm

You knew how it felt immediately. It was inconsiderate.

It was considerate of them to invite you to the other thing but inconsiderate in that their decision to break the plan with you was already made when they called you. What you do about it is what you'll do, but the opportunity here is to look past the surface and see if you can tell yourself what the circumstance triggered for you.

Beyond that, just tuck it behind your ear for future reference in case it's a pattern of behaviour with this person.

13 0Rating: +13

control

Apr 15, 2022 at 9:24pm

I would go with the flow
and blow off my neediness
and fear of not being in control.
But, that's just me.

2 17Rating: -15

@Sounds like

Apr 15, 2022 at 9:33pm

And your comment sounds exactly like what someone would say if they are an insensitive jerk.

9 2Rating: +7

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