I was scrolling through my camera roll of an old phone from 5 years ago and I found a photo I had taken of someone's dildo that had been dropped on the bus. I've since transferred the photo to more permanent storage. People would never believe the things I find on transit.

So there’s this guy that I used to chat with a while back. He lives in the United States. I couldn’t relate to him since he basically didn’t want to grow up. His entire life revolved around watching children’s entertainment, day in and day out. Never watched any adult shows like a sitcom, a soap opera or even the news. He once said to me how watching kid’s shows have corrupted his life in many ways and has made him want to be a kid forever. No, I don’t think watching children’s entertainment makes him want to be a kid forever. He knows it’s not for his age, but he’s in denial. It seems to me more like he has Peter Pan syndrome. And if that is the case, it’s something he’s going to have to eventually move on from because life only gets tougher as you get older. It’s all a part of growing up.

This is making me really uncomfortable…my former spouse and I had a fairly amicable divorce, and both of us moved on with new partners. We share children and as a result we occasionally find ourselves in the same place during special celebrations for birthdays, etc. The thing is that I’ve caught them staring at me several times, almost oblivious to the fact that their new partner is right there and it’s in full view of everyone else. It’s almost like they don’t know they’re doing it or something, and they’ll stare for an extended period of time, like much longer than just a glance. There’s no real expression on their face, just this intense stare. It’s weird because we’ve been apart for about 10 years already and when we split up it was a mutual agreement. I feel like if I say something they’ll just deny it or I’ll be accused of imagining it (a lot of that behaviour during our marriage), but I know what I’ve seen and it’s really weirding me out. My own partner hasn’t mentioned anything so I don’t know if they just haven’t noticed, and I’m not going to say anything about it to them because I don’t want to start anything. I just don’t understand why they’re doing it.

Watching old reruns of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I couldn’t decide whether I liked the red ranger or the green ranger. They were both some of the coolest superheroes I grew up with. Zoran was this year big weird assed giant floating head. The series could be so hokey yet so funny I loved it.

I remember this girl who I went to college with some years ago. We had fun times together and worked on a lot of cool group projects. Whenever we didn’t have to do any homework, we’d meet up for dim sum at authentic Chinese restaurant near North Burnaby. By the time grad came around, we both drifted. Nothing happened or anything. We just lost touch. If only there was a way I could locate her and reconnect. Back in the day, she told me she didn’t have social media. So I wonder if it’s still possible to reestablish connection.Haven’t forgotten our dream team.

I keep hearing from politicians that there are no simple answers for the drug crisis. There is actually. It is actually something recovering addicts like myself have to face at the beginning of ones rehabilitation journey. Admitting "I" was wrong. "I" f*cked up. Until an advocate, expert, politician, policy maker or anyone takes any accountability for tripling our deaths since we bent the curve in 2019 it won't get better. 7500 deaths in 3 years and zero people are accountable for anything and zero people have come out said "I was wrong." Recovering addicts say it. People helping us never do.

Do they look like your bitch? No? Then why are you trying to fuck them like a bitch? I don't like them touched by anyone except my partner. Seriously, give my knees some space. They're not meant to be fucked by your bag that you're holding stupidly in public space.

It starts out very typically, but ends a bit oddly. Like many folks, I'll step out of the shower and towel myself dry, but before I start blow-drying my hair, I'll turn off the bathroom lights so that I can dry my hair in complete darkness. I think this started as a way to save on my hydro bill and turned into therapy of a sort. There's something about the combination of the white noise from the hair dryer, warm air on the skin and hair, and the darkness that is very soothing. You do need to have good spatial awareness and coordination, so I don't recommend to all. It's not entirely without risk of injury. You can't see what you're doing in the dark and could potentially wack yourself in the head with the hairdryer.

A recent confession made me think of the strange meandering that dating has taken over the last few years. I have been on lot's of dates in the last year and they are very much different than they were the year before. Hell, the most common thing I've dealt with lately is a complete wholesome innocence from most people. Almost like people have had a complete reset of their lives and are dating/hanging out for the first time. People with kids are completely different as well. They're not clingy to their kids or their parenting lives like I have ever seen it. Maybe being cooped up for so long dramatically changed them, but I've gone on enough dates lately with parents who haven't even mentioned their kids. It's almost felt like they're kids, or teenagers or something getting their independence for the first time as well. Many of my dates have ended in friend zones, but not forced, much more organic. like "I'm your age, we get along, maybe this isn't romantic, but this is something I want to continue." I've even been set up on dates from dates. It's all f*cking weird, but also kind of amazing. Toxicity will return I'm sure, but whatever... this spring is lovely.

I confess that the biggest reason that I’ve lost respect for partners in my past is entirely due to courage. If they showed it, to be precise. So many of them believed that all they had to do was be physically strong or have money and that was enough to earn my respect. But all of them failed when it came to the courage it takes to be real. To be vulnerable and honest about your feelings and who you truly are. All the rest of it means nothing if you can’t do that. So I don’t care if you can lift the biggest log in the forest if you don’t have the courage to be real.