Confessions

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Tired of living in denial

I'm tired of living a lie. I am gay. I am 57 and only recently admitted it to myself . I looked in the mirror and just said it. "I'm gay". A flood of feelings came over me in that moment. I felt a heavy weight fall off me. It felt wonderful! But I was terrified at the same time. I couldn't believe what I was saying. I fought it and went back and forth for a long time but I am tired of the conflict. There's this cute guy who has flirting with me and I'm going to give him what he wants.

Cancer

I recently had an ex try to come back into my life. They have been diagnosed with a life changing ailment. However, they trashed my life and lied relentlessly about me when we broke up. They even messed with my career at that point. It's been a few years since that and I had moved past it, but their recent communication just seemed self fulfilling and shady. Your actions when you're healthy don't change when you get sick.

Undo

Tomorrow is mother's day and all I want is a time machine so I can go back in time and not have kids. I love them completely, but parenting sucks

Dating

So you're a light-skinned person that prefers other light-skinned people and that's what you're advertising on your dating profile. That's fine, depending on how it's worded. But it's troubling to me that the majority of us seem to be less accepting of other cultures.

Untold stories

I keep hearing of more and more situations where people are staying in abusive relationships because they can’t afford to move. When finding a place to live is so hard, they’re choosing to stay in physically or mentally abusive situations and the fallout from that is affecting everything around them. Children in those families act out, addiction becomes a problem as people self medicate, crime happens as inner rage bubbles over, etc. When people are desperately unhappy it’s like a ripple effect that radiates to everyone and everything they’re involved with. It feels like we as a society are heading for a massive collapse where all hell is going to break loose.

Everybody wants

I took an accounting course. Dry but very useful content. A man befriended me. After a few accounting conversations, he asked me to set him up with my single friends. I literally only know his first name and would never in a million years introduce him to my friend network for his selfish needs. I don’t know if it’s because it’s spring, post pandemic or boredom, but your loneliness problems are not mine to solve.

I just can’t

I have this friend who was never religious and believed in freedom of choice for women. Over the past several years she’s changed because her son and daughter in law apparently became evangelicals and when their daughter got pregnant really young she had to get married, and now she’s got 3 kids and she’s not even 21. I can’t pretend to be happy for them, I just can’t. This kid doesn’t even have a fully grown frontal cortex yet so she has no idea of the impact on her this will have. I can’t celebrate babies raising babies. Of course the kids are cute and yes people can choose what they want to believe, but this kid has been completely indoctrinated so in reality this couldn’t have been an informed decision.

Can We Get Serious?

You calling the bus driver a fucking wanker because YOU don't have the fare to pay? There were so many different ways you could have approached the situation, instead of barging onboard like a spoiled brat, one of them being just asking him to ride for free this time. But YOU decided to do it the asshole way. It's apparent to me from your attitude that you take this path all the time. And for the record, telling someone to go back to their country is fucking racist. The driver wasn't the fucking wanker here. YOU are. I confess I should have reported your stupid ass to the transit police.

Lessons from detox

I keep hearing from politicians that there are no simple answers for the drug crisis. There is actually. It is actually something recovering addicts like myself have to face at the beginning of ones rehabilitation journey. Admitting "I" was wrong. "I" f*cked up. Until an advocate, expert, politician, policy maker or anyone takes any accountability for tripling our deaths since we bent the curve in 2019 it won't get better. 7500 deaths in 3 years and zero people are accountable for anything and zero people have come out said "I was wrong." Recovering addicts say it. People helping us never do.

I've realized I need therapy.

That's terrifying all by itself. But the idea of actually making a phone call or walking into an office is a bridge too far.

I SAW YOU

Whole Foods on Cambie today

You were all in denim! We locked eyes in the produce section and then again in the condiment...