I don't know what my role is. I don't know how I can best contribute to society. I don't know what I am supposed to be doing. I don't know how to move forward.
So many of our personal opinions are based on what our family traditions taught us. Like we grow up doing things a certain way, or our parents did so and so and thought such and such, so that’s how things must be done. People judging others because they do things differently mostly comes down to these ingrained beliefs I think. We all do this to a certain extent, but it’s important to at least be aware of this bias we have because of it, and be open to other ways of thinking. I tried to get my former partner to understand that different doesn’t mean wrong, but he couldn’t grasp that concept. His whole family was the same way. They all think they’re better than everyone else and that their way of doing things is the “right” way, so if you don’t do what they do you have to be taught. They’re completely incapable of self awareness, every one of them. It’s as if they’re encased in a bubble of self-righteous ignorance, making reason impossible. I finally stopped trying to explain or justify how I felt or how I did things, because if I didn’t fall into line with their beliefs, obviously I had to be wrong. The patronizing attitude was insufferable. An entire family of narcissists.
Why does it take so long for some people to understand that they need to change and grow? Sometimes a person has to completely lose the one person they thought was a sure thing before they get it. My friend carried on for so long believing that he could just go back whenever he wanted to and start up like the years in between hadn’t happened. I’m watching him fall apart now because he waited too long and now that person has learned to live just fine without him and didn’t tolerate that same behaviour. It’s hard to watch but it’s a lesson he needed to learn.
I almost always end up falling for her cute dog more than her.
Yep, that's really what happens when you buy cute dogs. Your boyfriend loves them so much and wants to hug and kiss them.
Surprise, surprise. We're not just interested in sex, ladies.
I don't mean to sound like a snob but, when you listen to a song from the 80s and 90s, and can proudly say that you lived both decades up close and personal, and the way Vancouver was back then, then even after all these years... they take on a whole other dimension. The concerts, mosh pits, tapes, videos, MS DOS, archades in 7-11s, the distinct street smell of carmelized onions and Players cigarettes, the memories both good and bad, horsing around, prank calls on pay phones, the crude technology that didn't yet run your life, Expo, PNE parades on Hastings, picnics at Second Beach, Duffie's book store... Maybe it's just me but there was a wonderful innocence about it all, even if the drugs and people's woes were just as present then as they are now. Those born after all that sure missed out on one heck of a ride.
I expressed interest in a woman who I've been interested in for years.
Now when she walks by I say hi and she looks at me like I'm a serial killer.
Its a start....
Like depression or anxiety or trauma, and that didn't apply to me, I wouldn't downvote their confession just because I can't relate to that particular struggle. It's not helpful and they may be feeling extra fragile and vulnerable.
I really do. I love dogs and cats so much. But I can’t afford one. I can’t afford an expensive vet bill if something happens to them. I can’t afford to buy my own place that allows pets. So I do without one in spite of how much I miss having one in my life. So I confess to being really frustrated with people who get a pet because it’s what they want and not because it’s the best thing for the animal. The same people who expect other people to pay the vet bills in an emergency, or whatever else that animal might require along the way. The fancy food because the cat has digestive problems. The special shampoo because the dog has a skin condition. All of those things. If you genuinely love animals, you put their needs above your own, and if you can’t afford all of what they might potentially require, then you’re not supposed to get one. Simple but unpopular truth.
I spent the morning collecting all the things given to me by an ex, putting them in a trash bag, and throwing them in a dumpster. Normally I wouldn't be so wasteful and would opt to donate these items. However, I wanted to know what it feels like to dispose of something of value – a process that happened to me repeatedly during our time together. I was expecting to feel sad and cry, but you know what? It felt good. It felt powerful. I realized that was how they felt while treating me as a disposable object. And I realized I should have locked that door and buried the key in an unmarked grave a whole hell of a lot sooner. Phoenix rising from the dumpster, burning that bridge and not looking back.
When someone tells you what happened in their relationship, remember that they’re only telling you half of the story. Rarely will they mention anything they might have done to contribute to whatever went wrong. If they do, wonderful! But I think that most people don’t.