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Unpopular, controversial opinion

A lot of these ageing rockers just don’t sound as good as they used to. A bunch of balding, out of tune, out of shape, overweight middle-aged men that sound either too drunk or stoned to sing, behaving like they’re in their early 20s all over again. And whenever they perform new material, most people sit down. People pay these guys to hear songs that they know, not the crap off some new album. Most ageing rock bands reunite after being split up for so long pretty much for the money. As a radio DJ in my generation once said, “I’d like to thank John, Paul, George and Ringo for not getting back together and spoiling a great thing.”

The Drifter

Ever since The Railway Club closed I feel like I have been drifting around looking for somewhere to belong.

Ob La Di, ob la da, life goes on

I recently ran into someone from high school. I wouldn't call this person a fully-fledged bully. That person was just a colossal jerk to me. We both talked for a while and had no hard feelings about the past. He never apologized, but really it didn't matter. We both moved on. I respect people who move on from high school much more than those still stuck in high school 20 years later.

Do better or do worse?

Something we notice on social media is basically a trend of all kinds of phrases. Among the many phrases you hear are “ghosting”, “bae” “wokeness” “narcissist” and now “do better.” I wonder if I’m the only one who thinks that “do better” is merely a disguised insult that comes off as virtue signalling? I find that whenever people use this phrase, they don’t actually encourage positive behavior. It comes off as attacking and demeaning, which basically makes the other person feel ambushed. Maybe I’m the one who needs to “do better”. Do better? Do worse? What next? Do nothing? Nothing at all? JUST DO IT!!

Is this Bullying?

Years ago, I had a supervisor at work who made my life hell. He eventually quit, but I dealt with him for years and continue to grapple with the trauma. I randomly experience feelings of rage bubble up because of all the times I had to bite my lip and suppress my anger when he provoked me. He'd been demoted from a previous position and was constantly terrified of getting fired. To save his job, he wanted me to perform as if I were superhuman or a machine. He followed me around all day and constantly breathed down my neck to work faster and complete more tasks. Unfortunately, quitting was not an option. The company has a carefully worded anti-bullying policy. Basically, managers can't use slurs, violence or any *obvious* forms of bullying. "Ensuring accountability" or “motivating” employees they'd say, is not bullying. The insidious thing about my supervisor was that he figured out how to bully people in a way that didn't appear to violate the policy. He repeatedly used tone and body language by speaking to me like an angry, belligerent drill Sergeant. He'd slam things and take “digs” at me that were insulting but without slurs. He’d gaslight me by telling me to do something while I was already doing it as if that would make me do it faster. On top of the constant nagging, needling and pressure to do more, he'd constantly criticize and complain about every little thing while making me take responsibility for his mistakes. I often started my day listening to a list of complaints and then working without any breaks all day to finish everything so that I wouldn’t get berated. One day, he was speaking to me in such an indescribably rude and demeaning manner that I finally lost it and cussed him out. The senior managers suspended me. I didn't bother to explain the pattern of bullying because I thought their reaction would be, "wait, so he's been driving you as hard as possible on behalf of the company? Haha, that's awesome, keep it up!” I’m still haunted over whether I should've spoken up or not. At the time, I thought that his behavior would be considered laudable, so I quietly accepted my suspension. So tell me, should I have reported him? Is the behavior I’m describing bullying or was I just an unlucky worker with a demanding boss?

TGTDNW

I’m glad they didn’t win the cup this year. I used to wish they would win it before my dad died, but winning it the 1st year after would have been adding insult to injury.

Omg he needs to get over it

I have a friend in his 40's who's on FetLife & constantly complains how hard it is to meet women to have as he calls "dirty kinky fetish type sex" ....I have told him it's very likely people who are in that "scene" maybe make up I would say 5 or 6 or 7% percent of the general population here on Vancouver & people in general aren't into that type of sex, only the plain vanilla type sex, but it goes in one ear out the other, I think I should tell him to complain to someone else as it annoying & I've only listened to him about it because I'm a friend of his lol

Urgent Care is for things that need care urgently.

Y'all. I had to go to urgent care because I had a cyst pop unexpectedly and an obviously infected wound seeping pus everywhere, including soaking through my clothes as I waited to see doctor. This is why I opted for urgent care instead of an 8 hour emergency room wait. I waited two hours to get antibiotics. As I sat there and waited, people were turned away at the door because it was full for the day by 10 am. Meanwhile, some lady thinks needing to get a mole checked out is urgent. Some dude with eczema on his hand, that he could have had checked out by a pharmacist, thinks that's urgent. People are experiencing problems with their pregnancies and broken bones next to me, while half the people in there could have called 811 or done a simple google and seen what they have going on is not, in fact, urgent. Think about other people. Ask yourself what 'urgent' means, maybe? It's not rocket science.

Coming undone

You can be a kind person your whole life but then devolve rapidly into that bitter old person who doesn’t want ANYONE to be happy with their life and choices. And then all that good character that we thought was you, leaves the room, and we wonder where you went. Not sure what you need or want but work on your inner self so that you need not ambush people in their happiness and hard work. I never want to be like you in old age.

Getting why we met... and why we failed

I was chatting with a friend about a guy who seriously entertained the idea of having me on the side if not leaving his marriage outright. The risk was too much for him, as he couldn't give me the courageous leap to claim me by leaving what he had or even by declaring his feelings out loud to my face. He hated that I couldn't be the side piece that allowed him to have both worlds. I shook up all he knew and he never forgave me for making him feel what he felt while knowing he couldn't be what I needed. We were both awful to each other trying to find a way of loving each other that we both wanted but couldn't have because we were both firm in our own terms. We were alike in ways that didn't help. He still hates me because, in the quietest moments, he still desires me and I ruined his plans. And yet, he's strong enough to bury himself in life to not think of me, the one who got away (he hates that part because it's true). I found a silver lining in this experience: I was able to empathize and give good advice to my friend about to go through something similar based on my experience with the man from my past. Communicate, be completely open and honest and be okay that doing so brings truth to each other's hearts, even if the result is realization that it cannot be. That is the advice I gave. No hiding, strategic gameplay, no withholding feelings or facts. All the things a healthy relationship deserves even if it leads to its end is what two people wondering about the love of each other deserve. To that mixed up man: I get why we went through it all. Such drama, omg. Oddly, I thank you, and I'm sorry we couldn't be healthy together like that but I hope you're at least content. I know you will always hate me because it's easier and I know you want to forget. I hope, if you can't forget, you realize silver linings that do add to your happiness in yourself and in others.

I SAW YOU

Whole Foods on Cambie today

You were all in denim! We locked eyes in the produce section and then again in the condiment...

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