2005 in review - Business

Call dismay

Bell Mobility was criticized for selling a line of cellphone ring tones called PimpTones, voice clips that refer to women as skanks and whores and featuring partially beeped explicit language.

Sell-out-your-soul food

The nonprofit foundation named after Black Panthers cofounder Huey P. Newton sought to trademark the revolutionary slogan "Burn, Baby, Burn" for a line of hot sauces.

Sales were flat anyway

Complaints from animal-rights activists that Trolli Road Kill Gummi Candy-shaped to look like squashed animals with tread marks-encouraged cruelty to animals resulted in Kraft Foods withdrawing the product.

Post-reality TV

A company named Vidstone LLC announced it would begin selling a video-screen-equipped headstone called the Serenity Panel, a solar-powered LCD screen with headphone outlets that plays back a few minutes of video clips when activated.

Pretending to deceive

Lingerie maker brastraps.com announced it had developed the Evolution by Margarita bra, which uses liquid-filled lifting pads to create the illusion that the wearer has had breast augmentation surgery.

Flat tax

Vancouver Esso stations began installing new air compressors that cost 50 cents to operate, although an Imperial Oil spokesperson claimed they would activate the machines free for paying customers and would not turn away people who could not pay.

Why they're called brokers

The brokerage division of Japan's second-largest bank lost at least US$225 million when a trader for Mizuho Securities Co. made an error in typing and entered an order to sell 610,000 shares of a company for one yen apiece, instead of one share for the going price of 610,000 yen (about US$5,000).

Adulteries only

Toronto-based Ashley Madison Agency Ltd. is an on-line dating service targeted at married people who want to have affairs. According to National Post Business magazine, the per-capita top five cities for members are, in order, Peterborough, Ontario; Red Deer, Alberta; Greater Toronto, Los Angeles, and Montreal.

No-account thief

"The closest thing I've ever had to an accounting course was a preliminary course in economics."-Former WorldCom CEO Bernie Ebbers, at his trial for masterminding a US$11-billion fraud at the company. Despite claiming ignorance, he was found guilty

Carma

After the American Family Association threatened a boycott of Ford products, the company's British subsidiaries, Jaguar and Land Rover, said they would stop advertising in gay media. Brushing aside Ford's claims that budget tightening led to "tough choices where to advertise and how to spend limited sponsorship dollars," the decision was attacked as "cowardice" by gay bloggers. "[If] Ford wants to dance with bigots, that's fine. But you don't get to do that in the year 2005 and remain a prosperous company in America," said a blog on Americablog.com that called for the telephone numbers and e-mail addresses of senior Ford executives, which protestors were able to post within hours.

Pressing the flesh

Canon announced it would increase the thickness of the glass on the top of its office photocopiers because of the number of service calls due to people sitting or lying down on them to copy body parts. "I had to repair a machine with a photocopy of a man's groin jammed in it. The manager suggested an office identity parade to see who Canon could charge for the call out," said technician Steve Mannion.