Am I a total asshat?

posted June 29th, 2015 at 8:05 PM

I don't know what it is but I am not always eager to hang out with my partners friends. They arent terrible people and it's not like I dread the idea of hanging out with them, I just don't feel psyched always. I just haven't connected with them or feel as if I have much to say. I feel socially inept when I am around them and the only time it is easy to talk to them is if everyone is intoxicated. Anyone else never felt that instant connection with your partners friends? Maybe it's because I am more of an introvert. Some times I can instantly click with people and other times it's harder. More of the latter these days. Just feeling socially weird I guess.

6 Comments

Snackster

Jun 30, 2015 at 8:01am

No, I wouldn't say you're an ass hat... just lazy. Relationships take effort. You don't need to be an extrovert to get along with people; maybe just try listening to them.

Totally understand

Jun 30, 2015 at 8:17am

Introverts prefer socializing one-to-one rather than in groups.

We can do the group thing for a 2-3 hours, but after that we'll be feeling drained and need some time alone.

Maybe if you had the chance to socialize with your partner's friends individually you would get to know them better and then it'll be easier in group settings in the future.

30 years on

Jun 30, 2015 at 9:13am

Well coming out of a 30 yr relationship, being the socially awkward one, the "friends" we socialized with say we'll call u, but they don't (not being a couple doesn't help) I seem to be having better luck reconnecting with the friends I knew before. So try and stay in touch with your old buds.

sky

Jun 30, 2015 at 9:43am

I feel you. I have been in the same situation for close to 8 years. Some of them I instantly click with, while with others I still don't. I just accepted it.

Don't feel bad...

Jun 30, 2015 at 10:21am

Maybe they just bore you. Maybe they are dullards. Don't blame yourself for their inability to connect with you. Just tell your partner that those friends he/she has... suck.

I'm with you

Jun 30, 2015 at 5:23pm

I love my partner so much, but his friends, not so much. The worst is he loves one of his cousins and always wants this person to come over. The this cousin and I just don't click. It's unspoken but we both know it. ugh. I feel for you. You are not an AssHat at all my friend. Keep being you :-)