I would judge a man by how he treats people, if he is kind, compassionate, honest with integrity. I do not blame you for not wanting to be married or live with someone. It is unfortunate in the year of 2018 that the laws encourage con-artists who can take advantage of a person with such qualities. As a woman, I have these qualities and will not likely enter into another marriage or co-habitate with another man. The risk is too high. It just happened to me again. If he comes after me I will be financially ruined just because he lived with me when he had no place to go. He can inherit a large sum from his family and still ruin me financially. The laws need to be seriously re-evaluated in this province.

I think you understood my post. I look for a great relationship with independence for the reasons you stated and more. That does not mean I am not there for someone or not interested in comittment provided we were to agree that the goal is not "shacking up". All the downvotes tell me that people simply see anyting other than that particular goal as somehow lacking in what is important...which was the whole point of the post.

Have none of you people constantly ranting about the unfairness of the laws pertaining to common law relationships heard of a little thing called a “cohabitation agreement”? It’s basically the same thing as a pre-nup in a marriage situation. If you’re that worried about your significant other taking advantage of you should the relationship not work out, do up an agreement (legal only) in advance. That should take care of things. If children become involved or are already present, then see a lawyer first to learn what each person’s rights and obligations are in advance. Using this kind of bs justification for what really sounds more like a fear of commitment is not being a grown up.

but bitter men are not good men.

A lawyer will tell you they are no guarantee. Likely they will not hold up in court. Trust me I have tried. Not that simple.

That is a reasonable basis for relationship, not "shacking up". If you have the right partner. It will likely not be an issue :). Imagine if you had a passionate beautiful woman who has her act together and is financially independent and just wants to enjoy live, love you and spoil you. It exists ;).

I am sure women like that do exist. Now if I can find one who wants to keep her own rythyms and independence...

It does amaze me that everyone jumps on the assets wagon and assumes a lot about me or my motivations. I suppose projecting is indeed a thing. That said, any legal agreement is useless in a relationship to my way thinking anyway.

I like my space and independence, I think a lot of people do. It doesn't stem for bitterness or lack of respect for women. My desire to live on my own terms really has little to do with gold digging protection. I have assets, I don't let them own me. I can provide and have provided in relationships when needed. No big deal.

But you see, the bitterness and accusations upon getting to a point in a relationship where this comes up is tiring. Should I say on date 1? 2? I dunno, it usually comes up sometime soon after and then I have gotten the "good man" speech.

Cohabs are useless. They cannot be signed under duress,there is a part you sign saying you are not signing under duress.
Later,she can say she signed it as she was worried she'd be dumped if she didn't sign-and didn't realize that she was signing under duress.
Therefore,cohab agreement ...over turned. Cha Ching!

The woman I described above is independent and needs space. Most people need some space and own activities. Personally I am not into open relationships or shallow type where you are not really sharing life together. I know a lovely couple who have been together 30 years but live in separate homes. I would want a loyal loving partner. physically and emotionally. It is nice to wake up with someone. However, that does not mean my man is not able to have time to himself without me or has to be there 100% of the time. Balance is important. All relationships are different. So are love languages. Quality time is important. If a woman could never reach you, you are not checking in daily or can't see you when feeling passionate, that may not work.

Yes, consider telling them up front. It is hard to learn what type of relationship each person wants and how much time together a partner wants. May as well find out. This is Vancouver where space is small. Difficult to have alone time that is important. If you are communicating and not a player and enjoying quality time. A woman that pressures this kind of marriage issue, seems like a bit of a con artist to me.