are you happy with what you've done to them ?

You divorced him over wet towels?

Should have just picked them up or ignored them.

If it wasn't the wet towels, it would have been something else.
Two hours is a lot of crying. Anybody who has done that knows how f'n bad you must hurt when you can't even get off the floor.
It's been a few years, and a big change, things will get better.

Killer of all libido, killer of all relationships. Woman to man or vice versa and all the flavors. For me, it's like having PTSD from all the damn nagging about nothing. My partner would bitch and moan about something like a magazine on a table, all the while ignoring their 8 or 9 scattered about the kitchen table. It's symtomatic of control issues. I just started avoiding home. Cannot divorce with kids. Well, you can, but you have seen how that pans out.

" I had told my husband to put them in the laundry hamper and he obviously did not listen"

... should not get married, or have children. You don't get to "tell" people what to do. You can ask them. You can say "if you don't X, I will/will not Y," but if that extends to forcing them to do things, like take punishment, etc. that's really just telling them "if you don't this thing I tell you, you WILL do this other thing I tell you!!"

This caused my own parents' relationship to break down. My father worked, provided, etc. In the end, it was a laundry list of "misbehavior" and my mother being driven "to the end of her rope" but his inability to "do as told."

Men and children are not servants to be "told" what to do.

"I could no longer be with this man because I couldn't sacrifice my life for his"

There are two possible situations here. One is that he expects the towels to be picked up and would demand that _you_ do it. The other is that he just doesn't care where the towels are, if the pile gets too big, he'll do something about them. Lots of women, however, don't have this attitude, and I think it is mostly a smokescreen for them, so that they can keep men in line, by pretending that "my way is the right way" when they mean "my way or the highway!" Requiring men to do things like put towels into baskets, etc. is simply a way for women to determine whether a man is remaining obedient. Disobedient men pose a real threat to women, because men who understand they don't need to do everything/anything just because a woman tells them are empowered.

So, depending on that, I think the answer differs.

But poor kids. This is a lot like my history, Mom ruined the combined efforts of several generations on both sides of the family because she was "not satisfied" with a husband who worked, cut the lawn, didn't go out boozing/whoring, but who wasn't submissively obedient.

Clearly you were unhappy with him, but didn't you even once think about going for counselling before pulling the plug on your marriage? I'm sad for your kids, and I hope they see their father regularly

You are a perfect example of why many men don’t want to get married. Better to be single than to end up getting married to someone that would end a family just because the husband wouldn’t follow orders.

Not about what the confession says, but to the commentors! Firstly, of course she didn’t leave him just because of a couple of towels. Likely the towels were simply the final straw. Unless you’ve actually been in a relationship with some person who behaves like that all the time (ie, expects to be cleaned up after as if you’re their servant, completely ignoring the fact that leaving your stuff lying around on the floor is a pretty disrespectful thing to do to whomever you live with), then you’re not in any position to judge. Secondly, unless you really know exactly what went on between the two people involved then you cannot possibly be in a position to judge. For you Op, I want to say that regardless of what drove you to do it and how you feel about that, what matters now is how you proceed from here. All you can do is move forward, and hopefully you learned some valuable lessons from the experience. Good luck to you.

Until the part about, we would still be together if only he had picked up the towels.

You have not once realized the behavioural issues with your actions in the past couple years?

Obviously this was the last straw after many disappointments. But for a wet towel to be the last straw, and for you to stand behind it for this long, something seems fishy. Makes me wonder how petty all the other straws were.

As for your kids, if you have sons, and they spend most of their time with the father, you dont need to say anything. If you have sons and you have majority custody over them, or If you have daughters, you need to sit down with them and explain that despite their fathers misgivings, it wasn't his fault that he didn't want to be a slave in his own home, and that it was you who made the mistake in your marriage and caused such a trauma for them in their family life, or else they will think it's ok to behave the way you did/be treated the way your husband was, and continue on those traits themselves.

This is all so f***ing painful to read. You were looking for a place to yak with out thinking about what you were saying! Mistake! Strangers are not forgiving. If you want real help on here, need to give more background info. Keep in mind, the time it will take to recover from your divorce will probably be about half the time you were together. (It takes a long time). Whatever the reasons (I’m sure it was more than just towels), you have every right to make that decision. The kid part is hard. Very hard. Love them and let them know it was not their fault. (Kids often think it was even though it makes no sense). I just told my son we couldn’t get along and he understood that. You’re all in a tough place so take extra care of yourself and eachother. Get the take out cuz it’s easier, give them your time and attention, watch movies, get through the day. After some time you will all feel better. Good luck.