... this onto STDs is a nice cope, but it's not the real problem. We talk about STDs like you're gonna get them from hooking up a few times, but the fact is, and I have heard this from the CDC nurses when I got tested, that their advice is basically not to worry too much, especially about oral sex, because they can treat almost all of what you'd get from that with antibiotics. It's better to be safe, but don't pretend the problem here is STDs.

The problem is degeneration of pro-social, monogamous behavior that is not natural. It's unnatural just like speed limits and all other sorts of social limitations are unnatural---they exist not because they're natural but because they make life in society possible and desirable.

Monogamy is not natural for humans, and what we've done is liberate most women to have sex with the top 10-20% of men, while rejecting the rest. That's great for those men and women, except it's not that great for the women, because these top-tier men, if like most of the women are going for them, why would they settle down? It's not like the 50s when that "horrid" sexual repression kept things to a dull roar, where most women and most men paired up.

So let's not pretend this is about disease---this is about the sexual revolution and the natural re-emergence of primate sexuality untethered from morality, religion, etc. And who instigated it? It wasn't men!

And I think it’s terrible that it just seems to be the norm nowadays. Dating is now officially a disaster.

Why not just say upfront you are an "exclusive" dater? Problem solved.

It's not a "dating" pool, it's a hook-up pool. I am quite naive and inexperienced for my age, so I had to get kicked out a few times before I understood that it's a hook-up pool where I am not welcome.

I’m a person with an STI (HSV2) and it’s really fucked up about how people talk about STIs. There are often times people will have stigmatizing conversations about HIV, herpes, and other STIs not realizing that a person with an STI is standing right in front of them. Lots of people with HIV can live under the radar because they don’t look “sick” because of how medication improved over the last 20 years. Many people are born with Blood diseases because there parents may have passed it through birth. More than half the planet has HSV1 (usually facial herpes). NO ONE is getting tested for herpes (type 1 or 2) and it is not included in standard STI testing. Good luck getting a doctor to test you for herpes btw, unless you are showing symptoms doctors won’t test you (blood tests are unreliable and will only do viral tests if symptoms show up). If you and I were both to take a standard STI test we would both come back “clean”. You could already have an STI and you don’t know it.

Stop stigmatizing people with STIs you fucks. There are a lot more common than you think and it takes a lot of bravery to talk about it. The more it’s stigmatized the less honest people will be. There are probably tons of people around you suffering in silence and you just don’t know it.

is not stigmatizing people with STIs!

It means they care about their health and want to do their best to maintain good health and you shouldn't attack them for that!

But it’s the shaming and othering of STIs that hurts and silences people and stops them from talking about their experiences.

I reacted because this post framed STIs as the worst thing that can happen to someone. People with STIs exist, responsibly date and go on to have healthy relationships.

Of course protect yourself to the best of your ability. I totally advocate testing, but recognize the limitations. Wear condoms, Its the right thing to do. But also recognize that people with STIs are often spoken of as untouchable and that’s so damaging psychological health to the millions of people who have some sort of diagnosis. Those with an STI diagnosis are the last ones left behind and still stigmatized in this “sexual revolution”

Good luck avoiding STIs in a world where most women have casual sex for 15+ years (assuming they become sexually active at 15-16) before settling down at 30 or so. The antidote to this is religious, monogamy and morality.

It's not shaming it's being responsible for your health and the new dating culture is not making it any better. I too don't want any sexual diseases just anyone else. Condoms are not 100% safe proof from catching anything.

Thanks for slut-shaming women. What about the male whores out there (some of whom even confessed here)?