When someone shares a traumatic experience with you, telling them that you would never tolerate that or that you don’t understand why they still love that person isn’t at all helpful. Those situations are far more complicated than most people realize. Love / hate happens all the time, and usually it happens when someone has been abused as a child. They don’t know what “normal” looks like. For example, they got sexually abused by someone they were taught to love, like a parent or grandparent. That person isn’t awful to them all the time, so they wind up feeling so confused and conflicted. They grow up and encounter other people who abuse them, but not all the time and they don’t know what normal is so it feels like love hurts, and they keep trying to do things differently so that person will treat them right, because they’re used to being blamed for their own mistreatment. So instead of immediately jumping to that conclusion and judging that person for being in that type of situation, try understanding why they’re in it in the first place. It can happen to anyone, even someone who appears to be strong on the outside.