A recent confession made me think of the strange meandering that dating has taken over the last few years. I have been on lot's of dates in the last year and they are very much different than they were the year before. Hell, the most common thing I've dealt with lately is a complete wholesome innocence from most people. Almost like people have had a complete reset of their lives and are dating/hanging out for the first time. People with kids are completely different as well. They're not clingy to their kids or their parenting lives like I have ever seen it. Maybe being cooped up for so long dramatically changed them, but I've gone on enough dates lately with parents who haven't even mentioned their kids. It's almost felt like they're kids, or teenagers or something getting their independence for the first time as well. Many of my dates have ended in friend zones, but not forced, much more organic. like "I'm your age, we get along, maybe this isn't romantic, but this is something I want to continue." I've even been set up on dates from dates. It's all f*cking weird, but also kind of amazing. Toxicity will return I'm sure, but whatever... this spring is lovely.

I'm a flamboyant gay cross dresser who wears pink skirts plus I'm 59 & will be traveling to Kentucky & Missouri & Idaho & Wyoming....& would like advice before going there....should I wear lipstick & high heels & should I buy a MAGA hat & wear a t shirt that is in rainbow colours & says "Commies Suck"?

It starts out very typically, but ends a bit oddly. Like many folks, I'll step out of the shower and towel myself dry, but before I start blow-drying my hair, I'll turn off the bathroom lights so that I can dry my hair in complete darkness. I think this started as a way to save on my hydro bill and turned into therapy of a sort. There's something about the combination of the white noise from the hair dryer, warm air on the skin and hair, and the darkness that is very soothing. You do need to have good spatial awareness and coordination, so I don't recommend to all. It's not entirely without risk of injury. You can't see what you're doing in the dark and could potentially wack yourself in the head with the hairdryer.

Do they look like your bitch? No? Then why are you trying to fuck them like a bitch? I don't like them touched by anyone except my partner. Seriously, give my knees some space. They're not meant to be fucked by your bag that you're holding stupidly in public space.

I was talking to an acquaintance recently when I realized that he was describing things he was seeing while we were talking, in a very random and weird way. Like he was just talking about something and suddenly in the middle of a sentence he said “bag of cement” and then continued the sentence. A while later his sentence included “red hat “ although that had nothing to do with what he was saying. I realized that he was seeing these things while we were talking, and I don’t think he realized that he was saying it out loud. It was hard to keep my face straight but I didn’t want to laugh at him because I’m sure it was just his subconscious, but it was awkward.

Years ago, I had a supervisor at work who made my life hell. He eventually quit, but I dealt with him for years and continue to grapple with the trauma. I randomly experience feelings of rage bubble up because of all the times I had to bite my lip and suppress my anger when he provoked me. He'd been demoted from a previous position and was constantly terrified of getting fired. To save his job, he wanted me to perform as if I were superhuman or a machine. He followed me around all day and constantly breathed down my neck to work faster and complete more tasks. Unfortunately, quitting was not an option. The company has a carefully worded anti-bullying policy. Basically, managers can't use slurs, violence or any *obvious* forms of bullying. "Ensuring accountability" or “motivating” employees they'd say, is not bullying. The insidious thing about my supervisor was that he figured out how to bully people in a way that didn't appear to violate the policy. He repeatedly used tone and body language by speaking to me like an angry, belligerent drill Sergeant. He'd slam things and take “digs” at me that were insulting but without slurs. He’d gaslight me by telling me to do something while I was already doing it as if that would make me do it faster. On top of the constant nagging, needling and pressure to do more, he'd constantly criticize and complain about every little thing while making me take responsibility for his mistakes. I often started my day listening to a list of complaints and then working without any breaks all day to finish everything so that I wouldn’t get berated. One day, he was speaking to me in such an indescribably rude and demeaning manner that I finally lost it and cussed him out. The senior managers suspended me. I didn't bother to explain the pattern of bullying because I thought their reaction would be, "wait, so he's been driving you as hard as possible on behalf of the company? Haha, that's awesome, keep it up!” I’m still haunted over whether I should've spoken up or not. At the time, I thought that his behavior would be considered laudable, so I quietly accepted my suspension. So tell me, should I have reported him? Is the behavior I’m describing bullying or was I just an unlucky worker with a demanding boss?

So bye-bye to any meaningful relationship with my sister, I guess.

A lot of these ageing rockers just don’t sound as good as they used to. A bunch of balding, out of tune, out of shape, overweight middle-aged men that sound either too drunk or stoned to sing, behaving like they’re in their early 20s all over again. And whenever they perform new material, most people sit down. People pay these guys to hear songs that they know, not the crap off some new album. Most ageing rock bands reunite after being split up for so long pretty much for the money. As a radio DJ in my generation once said, “I’d like to thank John, Paul, George and Ringo for not getting back together and spoiling a great thing.”

I was chatting with a friend about a guy who seriously entertained the idea of having me on the side if not leaving his marriage outright. The risk was too much for him, as he couldn't give me the courageous leap to claim me by leaving what he had or even by declaring his feelings out loud to my face. He hated that I couldn't be the side piece that allowed him to have both worlds. I shook up all he knew and he never forgave me for making him feel what he felt while knowing he couldn't be what I needed. We were both awful to each other trying to find a way of loving each other that we both wanted but couldn't have because we were both firm in our own terms. We were alike in ways that didn't help. He still hates me because, in the quietest moments, he still desires me and I ruined his plans. And yet, he's strong enough to bury himself in life to not think of me, the one who got away (he hates that part because it's true). I found a silver lining in this experience: I was able to empathize and give good advice to my friend about to go through something similar based on my experience with the man from my past. Communicate, be completely open and honest and be okay that doing so brings truth to each other's hearts, even if the result is realization that it cannot be. That is the advice I gave. No hiding, strategic gameplay, no withholding feelings or facts. All the things a healthy relationship deserves even if it leads to its end is what two people wondering about the love of each other deserve. To that mixed up man: I get why we went through it all. Such drama, omg. Oddly, I thank you, and I'm sorry we couldn't be healthy together like that but I hope you're at least content. I know you will always hate me because it's easier and I know you want to forget. I hope, if you can't forget, you realize silver linings that do add to your happiness in yourself and in others.

I have a friend in his 40's who's on FetLife & constantly complains how hard it is to meet women to have as he calls "dirty kinky fetish type sex" ....I have told him it's very likely people who are in that "scene" maybe make up I would say 5 or 6 or 7% percent of the general population here on Vancouver & people in general aren't into that type of sex, only the plain vanilla type sex, but it goes in one ear out the other, I think I should tell him to complain to someone else as it annoying & I've only listened to him about it because I'm a friend of his lol