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A Guide Through Wonderland

We enter into the year of the white rabbit and on this continent there is a confluence of meanings. What of our rabbit? On one hand: luck, intellect, cautiousness, and prosperity. In the middle: experimentation, exploration, curiosity. And on the other hand: duty, incredible anxiety, awareness of time, the power to choose and to clear paths. Then within dreams: faithfulness in love. I look forward to seeing all of the faces of our Rabbit this year and accept them as they come.

Sakura

I work for a non-profit that lets a bully keep their job.

Pity party

My autistic brother can recall a movie we saw on June 26 1985, yet he forgot my birthday today. I texted friends on their birthdays, took them out to dinners or shows. And I get radio silence today. I give up. SO much energy output and no love in return.

secret confession

I've been married for over 30 years and for decades I'v secretly wanted to be dominated and feminized by my wife... the thought of a "role reversal" is always on my mind.... but most people think it's "dirty" or unhealthy so I've suppressed it for years...

A wildly polarizing topic

I am increasingly annoyed with soft parents. Don’t be mean to your kids, but also don’t let them be disrespectful to the world around them. Sometimes I want a coffee in a coffee shop with a friend— A rare treat these inflated days—- and I don’t want to hear or witness your brat kid running around throwing a tantrum while you wait it out. Please by all means do that at home. But in the world we need to be mindful and respectful of our community and neighbours. I can tell you with certainty they will learn boundaries and how to understand some outbursts have a time and place. Not to diminish their feelings, but to not put their need to scream above everyone else’s right to enjoy the world too.

Homesick

My home flooded. About half of my building was affected. It's a concrete tower with all the bells and whistles, but small. It has been 8 months that I've been out, and it just keeps getting worse and worse. The tradespeople have not fixed it properly and have ruined many items that the flood didn't destroy just from carelessness. I've developed a mould allergy. I rent. I have 400k in the bank and can't even get a mortgage over 600k because I'm a single income borrower, even though my monthly income is 4k and a mortgage, strata and property taxes would still be less than my rent. I confess that I should have pushed my late husband to move before he died of cancer. We could have qualified for a better mortgage and I would have been better off now. Instead I'm stuck with a bunch of crap to deal with and can't find a decent place to move to. I've looked at several places for 499k or 535k and they are all either leaking, full of rats, or in buildings with police incidents regularly. I can't leave town beciase of work, and health issues, but man is it dismal. I wish that I knew someone who could go in to buy a 2 bedroom with me. I'm lonely and sick of dealing with all of this garbage. If I can't find a home, what chance do other people have? I'm homesick. I can't even live in my place due to the problems, so just pay the rent to keep my mail coming and still have an address. I have been staying elsewhere, troubleshooting, and hoping it can all be fixed soon. Hindsight is 20/20 but damn we should have bought that cute place for 475k a few years back. Fuuuuuu....

Well, I was right

I posted "It won't be long now" awhile ago and got shit from everyone. I was right. I have seen the Grimm Reaper twice. I interrupted a black shadow moving towards a neighbour's house years ago. The grandfather died two days later. Then I saw a shadow chasing close behind an ambulance. I could tell a friend of mine was about to go two years ago and stayed with him so I could call and ambulance for him and did. Have I become a Grimm Reaper myself? No. Or I'd go after the h8ters like u.

Wow.

Being drunk and lonely is not a good combination. Never imagined I'd ever wind up so lonely.

Poem in copy of Anais Nin's Little Birds

Years ago, I woman with whom I had been intimate, gave me a copy of Anais Nin's Little Birds. She had hand-written pages of a poem on the blank pages, I think, about six pages. Poems by lovers have always tended to be not very good, so I did not actually read her poem for several years. When I did, what I found was a vivid detailled poetic description of how I did oral sex for her. I was amazed, and touched. She had called the poem, "For the nights when I am no longer with you." Years later, I lent the book to a colleague. He did not return it. When I asked him, he denied having borrowed it.

Madonna on tour

Maybe I'm making assumptions but somehow I don't think young people (teens to those in their 20's) care about the washed up clown....she should give up....but then again there's lots of suckers out there.

I SAW YOU

Enviromental consultant at Oakridge and 41st

I asked you about your hardhat while we were waiting for the R4 outside of the Oakridge Skytrain...

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