This is making me really uncomfortable…my former spouse and I had a fairly amicable divorce, and both of us moved on with new partners. We share children and as a result we occasionally find ourselves in the same place during special celebrations for birthdays, etc. The thing is that I’ve caught them staring at me several times, almost oblivious to the fact that their new partner is right there and it’s in full view of everyone else. It’s almost like they don’t know they’re doing it or something, and they’ll stare for an extended period of time, like much longer than just a glance. There’s no real expression on their face, just this intense stare. It’s weird because we’ve been apart for about 10 years already and when we split up it was a mutual agreement. I feel like if I say something they’ll just deny it or I’ll be accused of imagining it (a lot of that behaviour during our marriage), but I know what I’ve seen and it’s really weirding me out. My own partner hasn’t mentioned anything so I don’t know if they just haven’t noticed, and I’m not going to say anything about it to them because I don’t want to start anything. I just don’t understand why they’re doing it.

I keep hearing from politicians that there are no simple answers for the drug crisis. There is actually. It is actually something recovering addicts like myself have to face at the beginning of ones rehabilitation journey. Admitting "I" was wrong. "I" f*cked up. Until an advocate, expert, politician, policy maker or anyone takes any accountability for tripling our deaths since we bent the curve in 2019 it won't get better. 7500 deaths in 3 years and zero people are accountable for anything and zero people have come out said "I was wrong." Recovering addicts say it. People helping us never do.

That's terrifying all by itself. But the idea of actually making a phone call or walking into an office is a bridge too far.

I was recently blown away by a conversation with a good friend who went bankrupt last year. They were content winning arguments online with people than having their business continue. They had had a successful or moderately successful business. In doing so, somehow they got very invested in their online view of themselves and that became most important. I'm blown away because they had a choice. Log off and continue their business, go bankrupt and continue their online presence. They're still my friend, but man what a weird trip.

It starts out very typically, but ends a bit oddly. Like many folks, I'll step out of the shower and towel myself dry, but before I start blow-drying my hair, I'll turn off the bathroom lights so that I can dry my hair in complete darkness. I think this started as a way to save on my hydro bill and turned into therapy of a sort. There's something about the combination of the white noise from the hair dryer, warm air on the skin and hair, and the darkness that is very soothing. You do need to have good spatial awareness and coordination, so I don't recommend to all. It's not entirely without risk of injury. You can't see what you're doing in the dark and could potentially wack yourself in the head with the hairdryer.

Watching old reruns of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I couldn’t decide whether I liked the red ranger or the green ranger. They were both some of the coolest superheroes I grew up with. Zoran was this year big weird assed giant floating head. The series could be so hokey yet so funny I loved it.

Full disclosure, I’ve been guilty of doing this myself before I saw the error of my ways. But when it happens now I see the motive behind it so clearly. When you don’t know all the circumstances of someone else’s life or especially, their medical situation, you’re not in any position to judge what they can or cannot do. Telling me about someone else that you think has the same medical condition as I do but is capable of doing “so much more” is just cruel. If you think it’s going to inspire the person you’re speaking to, think again. It’s not. It’s going to make them even more convinced that you have no idea of what they’re dealing with. No two people are alike. Especially when it comes to medical situations. Unless they have exactly the same physiological makeup and medical history, they are NOT the same. Even if they have the same diagnosis, they don’t share the same body! Please stop doing this to people, even if you think you’re being helpful or especially if you’re trying to do the “tough love” approach. What people who are trying to cope with difficult medical issues need the most is compassion and empathy, not judgment and condescension. Take your own ego out of the equation and stop assuming that you have all the answers.

I confess that the biggest reason that I’ve lost respect for partners in my past is entirely due to courage. If they showed it, to be precise. So many of them believed that all they had to do was be physically strong or have money and that was enough to earn my respect. But all of them failed when it came to the courage it takes to be real. To be vulnerable and honest about your feelings and who you truly are. All the rest of it means nothing if you can’t do that. So I don’t care if you can lift the biggest log in the forest if you don’t have the courage to be real.

You calling the bus driver a fucking wanker because YOU don't have the fare to pay? There were so many different ways you could have approached the situation, instead of barging onboard like a spoiled brat, one of them being just asking him to ride for free this time. But YOU decided to do it the asshole way. It's apparent to me from your attitude that you take this path all the time. And for the record, telling someone to go back to their country is fucking racist. The driver wasn't the fucking wanker here. YOU are. I confess I should have reported your stupid ass to the transit police.

A recent confession made me think of the strange meandering that dating has taken over the last few years. I have been on lot's of dates in the last year and they are very much different than they were the year before. Hell, the most common thing I've dealt with lately is a complete wholesome innocence from most people. Almost like people have had a complete reset of their lives and are dating/hanging out for the first time. People with kids are completely different as well. They're not clingy to their kids or their parenting lives like I have ever seen it. Maybe being cooped up for so long dramatically changed them, but I've gone on enough dates lately with parents who haven't even mentioned their kids. It's almost felt like they're kids, or teenagers or something getting their independence for the first time as well. Many of my dates have ended in friend zones, but not forced, much more organic. like "I'm your age, we get along, maybe this isn't romantic, but this is something I want to continue." I've even been set up on dates from dates. It's all f*cking weird, but also kind of amazing. Toxicity will return I'm sure, but whatever... this spring is lovely.