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I Confess

I confess that if the confession posting is too long I don't read it.

Suffer in Silence

My ex-girlfriend was physically abusive towards me. She would punch, kick, and slap me when she didn't get her way. I told guys that this was happening and they thought it was funny and that she was feisty. Women I told couldn't believe a man was being abused by a woman. I ended up breaking up with her via text because she pulled a kitchen knife on me and I thought she was going to stab me. There just aren't enough services to help men that are being physically abused by their girlfriends/wives so we have to suffer in silence.

Do you want to go on a picnic with me?

That evening I went to the seawall. I watched people kayak on False Creek, and I watched the beautiful yachts cruise by. I soaked in the evening sun and listen to the crowd walk and jog past - behind me in my periphery. I was glowing and dreaming about having a picnic. It's silly, but I would have leapt for the star if she had thrown it into a fire - and my answer was honest.

Understanding Rentals

Some people seem to think that $1600/month for a one bedroom/studio is unreasonable. My family bought a condo for a family member around 2012, and this family member subsequently passed away, so we rent it out. Our operating costs, including mortgage debt, insurance, strata fees, etc. are around $1500/month. The cost to anyone buying a similar apartment today would be well over $2000/month, because it has appreciated significantly since 2012. The cheapest 1 bedroom I can find in the same neighborhood is $400k, which would mean the mortgage would be somewhere over $1500, then strata fees, etc. So you're looking at $2000/month, or thereabouts, for a similar unit, including insurance, strata fees, maintenance, etc. What we have on council are a bunch of well meaning people who seem to have this view of what the world "should be" that is divorced from the mathematical reality. One problem is that they don't teach what money is in school. The value of a loaf of bread, in Canadian Dollars, is not proportional to any intrinsic "a loaf of bread should cost thins," it is proportional to the relative value of other things (the bread-mixing machine, the cost of transporting the loaf, cost of grain, etc.), which are in turn costed relative to other things. This is a very complex system, the likes of which nobody really understands in the sense that they have every variable in mind at once. We're talking hundreds or thousands of variables. But on the front of making money, most of the tradespeople I know do fairly well, but they work jobs that are difficult. Most of them didn't go to University, or, if they did, it wasn't what gave them their job in the trades, though, if htey are University educated, they often have a better understanding of the business side of things. So, if you want to make money, get a trade. Don't go to University. You don't need a 4 year degree in Gender Studies to make money.

Is it just me? Please say it's not

Maybe this isn't the best place to say this but am I the only person that multiple times a day mutters to their self .. "what's wrong with people?" Why is it business people can't do professional business?

So many broken hearts

It seems that the legions of broken-hearted people are all posting here lately. In a way it’s nice to know that I’m not alone, but it’s also tempting to wonder if any of the posts are about me. I know the odds aren’t great but I so wish that the person I miss would be missing me too. I only wanted to know for sure that I mattered enough for him to be willing to risk being vulnerable, so that’s why it can’t be me doing the contacting again. It has to come from him this time. Keeping my fingers crossed and sending this lonely wish out into the universe.....

How It Ends

Can a disaster movie be a fantasy? Absolutely. There are less than four dozen people that I care about on this entire continent. And maybe in the whole universe. On balance, that doesn't outweigh the demerits of everyone else. The results speak for themselves. And with the consumerist culture here, the event would actually undo the environmental damage of the last two centuries, when averaged out over the planet. In this context, Lil'Kim is not scary at all. Rather inviting, actually. Bring it on, Rocket Man. And even when it kills me, as it almost certainly would, I'd die smiling. Not a prepper. Thanos was right.

It's all good

It took me a while. I'm really stubborn. Persistent. Tenacious. Filled with faith, some say. Well, to a point. I finally accept that when you say you're done, that it's just that. Some people might get all indignant. Heck, the old me would have. But, no, I can't. I put you on a crazy roller-coaster without sufficient explanation and am truly sorry that it left you spent, hurt, and angry. I could try to fill you in on the reasons and the background and you'd never believe me. What really sticks through it all is how you said you've never been happier. Above all, that's what I wanted for you, if you can believe that. And somewhere I took away the thing I liked seeing you have: happiness. I'm not closing the door on anything. I'm not pursuing anything either. I'm not leaving, and not waiting around. I'm letting you live your life on your terms, which you're doing anyway. If saying goodbye is what adds to that happiness, then...well, I don't know what does, actually, but it's a logical leap; I just hear silence and interpret that as your final and happily enduring message, knowing that you are happy.


drooled at you while you ate a croissant

you have brown hair and glasses. i have dark hair/was wearing a leather jacket/sat on the patio...

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