Exercise and the gym are the only things that actually lift my mood. Drinking does nothing except make me broke. And hell no to antidepressants.

I think it's important to remember that this time of year can be an especially tough time because of family and for the lack of loved ones as well as financially. It should be more about spending quality time than consumerism, but...not quite the case. Due to extended family, I dread the holidays with the exception of a couple close loved ones. I just can't stand two faced, gossipy people. They treated me horribly for years despite my always being there for them. I finally just limited my interactions and going to family functions for my health. I admire my friend being able to get away for the holidays and she's lucky being able to afford to do so. She said that not being around family is something she's looking forward too as well. Also, it's a really lonely time for many especially seniors. If you know of a neighbor or senior that is alone, do a little something for them. This is completely off topic but if there are any readers that could suggest a depression support group, it would be greatly appreciated. This time of year definitely worsens depression significantly for me.

What are they going to do? Stop buying up our country?!

It's hard to take them seriously. They mean so well, but they are so naive that they will protest anything their teachers tell them to protest.

If I knew then what I know now - two words - underwater welder because I'm too dumb to learn C++. Sh!t, I'm too dumb to learn HTML. Anywho, underwater welder's make stupid money a go to exotic places for work.

I fell in love with someone going on three years ago, it was magical. There’s no other way to explain it. But we moved faster, so fast in fact that the first night I stayed with him was the first time netting him in person, and I just never left (I slowly moved in). Long story short we’ve been on and off since then. There’s been lies and arguments and dating other people and getting someone else pregnant and them losing the baby and car wrecks and deaths in the family....pretty much there is no easy way to explain our story. Then finally I started moving on & found new love. I was so happy, this guy had a great family and friends. He gave me so much support in everything I did and was always there for me. In his arms were my safe place. One day though my ex texted and everything changed. I started only thinking about this ex and wanting to talk to him and wanted to see him. It was causing problems with me and this new guy so much in fact that we ended up breaking up. Now I’m back with my ex. Don’t get me wrong, my ex wasn’t the only reason for mine and this new guys problems and the breakup. Now I think I feel resentment sometimes towards my ex who is now my boyfriend. He can be such an asshole and make me feel like complete shit. The he smokes a little more and becomes all lovey doves. Which I like him like that but I hate that he’s like that because he’s so stoned. Maybe I resent the weed? I really don’t know.

Upon receiving bad news from the doctor how would you spend the last run of this life?

Ok you win , nicely played your an animal . I never thought I would lose, I believed in the us thing so purely. Like Morpheus did in Neo in the Matrix, blindly and without question. See I really swear there was a connection between us, I could feel it and was sure you felt it too. Now I get it, never means never along with ,never ever , no way , no chance in hell and my personal favorite "Are you straight crazy?" So I've given up! I'm pulling out of your life. I would of been worried about hurting you but since that's impossible , no doubt I'm good to go. Good luck take care , I'm glad I met you you taught me also .

This year has been great, God I'm very grateful.

I'm not faking it. I do love you, and I don't want it to be how it was before, and I sure don't want to take it there either. I want to be there as you bravely step up. I need for you to help me to get to where we both want to be by trusting that this is really how I feel. I just want to be able to be the least burden as we do because I know the cost. I wish I could tell this to you now.