Beat the B.C. heat with rosés from around the world

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      Ever wonder how the rest of the world does it? Recent scorching temperatures in these parts have not only given Vancouverites something new, weatherwise, to complain about, but led to endless theorizing that the end of the world is officially upon us.

      Spend countless hours wondering what thermometer readings are like in hell? We’ve just had a sneak preview. But before looking to the heavens and asking God why she’s been doing this to us, consider that, for folks living California’s Death Valley, China’s Flaming Mountains, and Libya’s El Azizia, 40 degrees Celsius is considered a pleasant break from reality.

      And then take the attitude that we’ve been getting the kind of heat that you normally have to hop on a plane and head to Mexico, Palm Springs, or Bangkok to soak up. What goes great with the hot weather? You’re not going to go wrong with a nice chilled rosé. Here are four bottles to take into the ice-cube filled wading pool with you. Just like they do in Oodnadatta, Australia.

      Saintly the good rosé 2020

      Nothing says summer in British Columbia like piling into the Vanishing Point–white 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T, cranking the Meat Puppets’ Up on the Sun, and then setting the GPS for the sun-baked Okanagan.

      Load up on fresh-from-the-tree peaches, cherries, nectarines, and then ask yourself why you continue to live in the city. You’ll get plenty of stone fruit aromatics in Saintly the good rosé, along with sweet whispers of honeysuckle.

      No one’s going to complain if this easygoing wine hits the table with a double-curried Thai gaeng pa nua, but why not go light and refreshing with an extra-mint-and-lemon juice nam sod?

      Video: Check out the Dodge Challenger vs. Jaguar scene in the 1971 film Vanishing Point.

      Robert Mondavi Woodbridge Rosé

      From the state that Nathanael West once famously described as the land of sunshine and oranges comes Robert Mondavi’s Woodbridge Rosé. Syrah and Tempranillo grapes come together for a subtly sweet, lightly acidic wine that suggests straight-outta-the-ice-box watermelon and field-ripened strawberries.

      Keep things simple with a lemon-and-prawn pasta (3/4 cup of grated Parmigiano-Reggiano and olive oil, 1/2 cup of fresh lemon juice, and a handful of chopped basil) and a good book.

      Like, for example, West’s The Day of the Locust, which might be the most insightful damnations of California this side of Barton Fink, Chinatown, The Black Dahlia, and the legendary Jeff Spicoli.

      Video: Check out the trailer for The Day of the Locust.

      Kim Crawford Rosé

      Sometimes you want to sit there on a breezy summer day and stare at the spring lambs, towering volcanoes, marauding orcs, and frolicking hobbits.

      Unfortunately you’re not going to New Zealand anytime soon, but you can imagine yourself there after a glass or three of Kim Crawford Rosé, which pours a pale-but-pretty pink and bursts with juicy grapefruit and emerald-green kiwi, and a back-end hint of ripe passion fruit. Cue up The Lord of the Rings if you’re going full popcorn, or Hunt for the Wilderpeople if you want feel-good with a message.

      Don’t forget the seared lamb—keeping in mind that, while cute and fuzzy, lambs would eat you too if they had the chance. Just like the famously ill-tempered orcs of New Zealand.

      Video: The funeral scene in Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

      Bask Crisp Rosé

      There’s no point pretending otherwise—sugar is delicious. Whether tapped as one of the two ingredients in simple syrup, used as a dip for fresh strawberries, or ladled onto your Cap’n Crunch for an extra energy kick, it’s a wonder-substance that makes everything better. Except, that is, your health.

      Like most things that taste great—pizza, cigarettes, deep-fried duck fat, French fries, and fried chicken—there’s eventually a price to be paid. The big selling point of Bask Crisp Rosé—besides, that is, the decidedly budget-friendly price—is that it’s completely sugarless. (Quick science lesson—when out to make a sweeter wine, winemakers put the brakes on the fermentation process early while the yeast is still gobbling up sugars. It’s not uncommon for Canadian rosés to have 10 grams of sugar per litre and up.)

      Normally, “sugarless” is an advance warning that something’s going to taste like it was concocted in a lab, which is to say more chemically than Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, and Diet Pork Soda. That’s not the case here, where the taste is soft and subtle—Okanagan peaches, U-Pick strawberries, and lemon peel—and the finish is drier than Vancouver this most hellishly hot of summers. Move over Death Valley—you’ve got company. And pass the rosé.