I have so many problems

posted November 28th, 2017 at 8:25 PM

that I don't know where to start. My problems aren't worse than anyone's problems, but they are pretty heavy to me. Let's start with the fact that I am obsessed with my partner's exes. And it's being like this since my first boyfriend. The difference now is that I've had several boyfriends and now I'm married. I feel so much less than them when I see their pictures. I read old emails that my partner and their exes exchanged, I look at old pictures of them on social media, I stalk their exes. It is crazy.

7 Comments

Probably

Nov 29, 2017 at 8:02am

Shouldn't be married if you are invading the privacy of someone and maliciously reading their old emails.

You're the one breaking the trust of your own marriage.

Wow

Nov 29, 2017 at 8:45am

I highly doubt your partner exes have time to even sit around and obsess over him. Someone really needs to get a life.

Uh oh

Nov 29, 2017 at 12:33pm

You are a nightmare. Get a hysterectomy immediately and then get a divorce. Your genes should die with you. You would be a monster as a parent.

Your insecurities.....

Nov 29, 2017 at 1:00pm

are probably some man's fault.

Suffering

Nov 30, 2017 at 8:46am

The first step is admitting it, the second step is doing something about it and getting help. On a basic level you could read any Buddhist books and see that the root of suffering is in your attachments. You allow yourself to keep fixating on people who are not relevant any more to your partner and are attaching meaning to this fixation, rewarding & consoling yourself through the self-shame. Like an addiction, these are repetitive compulsive thoughts that serve no purpose except to trap you in your own mind and illusions. Release, reframe, refocus, release. Repeat. Stop the narrative of who they are and what they did with your partner. Block accounts and restrict any of your access to photos, they are not relevant or helpful to you! Tell yourself this over and over. You can do better, think better, live better. Focus on You and how you can make this present moment something to be proud of. Show your partner what he means to you and make new positive memories you want to look back on!

Old pictures always look better

Nov 30, 2017 at 4:02pm

I think I looked way better when I was younger. Less scars, less of a gut, and I even had nice thick hair at one time. I use to turn way more heads when I was young, as did all my prior entanglements. One entanglement that I was particularly fond of, and certainly turned my head back in the day, now has a bigger gut, and butt on her than I do. But of course, I never ended up pushing out a few kids, taking all that goes with it, so I guess she has a better excuse than I do.