Well, here's a different confession

I was masturbating at home tonite tonight to my favorite porn and had an especially intense climax. When I recovered (at my age it is a recovery) I realized had sprayed some of my jizz on my keyboard. Oh shit, grabbed tissues, some wipes, etc and cleaned it all up best I could. Now my "Shift" key doesn't work. Be careful guys, keyboards don't like cum.


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nice try

Jan 11, 2019 at 9:05pm

Keep playin with ur dildo


Jan 11, 2019 at 10:38pm

Lame confession.

13 9Rating: +4


Jan 12, 2019 at 8:10am

Haha! Time for a new keyboard.

8 8Rating: 0


Jan 12, 2019 at 9:13am

Keyboards don’t, but some men and women do.

10 8Rating: +2


Jan 12, 2019 at 9:14am

This is bullshit. Anyone who knows how a keyboard works knows this.

9 10Rating: -1


Jan 12, 2019 at 9:18am

Why do dudes think their wangs are the most important things in the world and that everyone needs to hear about it?

8 13Rating: -5

I was

Jan 12, 2019 at 10:13am

joking to colleagues about this kind of situation back in the 20th century.

11 6Rating: +5

Heh heh heh

Jan 12, 2019 at 10:45am


8 9Rating: -1


Jan 12, 2019 at 11:45am

Sorry, but you'll have to get a new keyboard. This kind of damage is usually not covered under warranty. And keyboards nowadays don't make it easy to pull out the key caps to clean the parts underneath it, so a DIY repair is out of the question.

Next time, use a sock. It works really well at keeping your keyboard (and anything else near, um... firing range) clean.

11 9Rating: +2

How quaint

Jan 12, 2019 at 12:45pm

Keyboards are now specialty precision tools useful for niche applications.
When you fap, use a tablet.
They're cheap, and some are even rated IP57/IP67 or better for resistance to liquids. Add a case and tempered glass screen to protect it further. Tadaa!
Now you have two years of worry-free wank and won't have to replace a keyboard. Just wipe it down with a disinfectant cloth once in a while. If the screen gets too crunchy, the device will become unusable.
Get a stand, too. Convenient viewing angle and all that.

11 9Rating: +2

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